I DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE NO MORE - Yung Lean Fic

★TEN★

I still haven't heard from Jonatan yet, it made me worry about him. He was trying to get sober and stay away from the drugs, i fear that he's hooked again. I call in Ben to see if Jonatan will answer his call because they seem to be more of best friends and the closest. He called and Jonatan finally answered after the 8th time trying.
"What?..." His voice was weak. "You need to come home and sort this out like a grown up and stop running away from everyone!" Ben spoke to him. But Jonatan sighed, "Fine...im heading back.." You can tell he wasn't sober for sure. I thanked him for calling and he left out my room getting Ludwig for me. Its now or never, we all need to know our places in this relationships.
I stood up walking by the corner of my room farthest I can get from him. "Sit on my bed and we wait for Jon.." I sigh avoiding eye contact. Soon after Jonatan was being led by Ben into my room. I nodded and he closed my door. My heart is pounding, i don't know how this will turn out and i hope its for the good.

"Jonatan.... Ludwig... We need to sort this out and you guys need to listen to me. And not interrupt me..." I say sitting on the ground playing with the carpet, they nodded and sat quietly.
"Okay so... I dont know how this ended up in a big fucking mess but its not healthy and i never intended to ruin your guy's friendship. Everything happened so fast, i didn't know what to do or who to be with. Ludwig... I really got to know you at lot and i have fun being around you and being able to be myself. It just when we did it... I let my body take control of me... You did nothing wrong believe me. I didn't listen to what my heart truly wanted. Im not sure what im trying to say but i want to let you know that im gladly okay with being friends with you.. Nothing else and i hope you don't hate me"... I sigh looking down.

" Luna its understandable that you want him.. All i wanted was to protect your because I knew Jon tends to just leave girls... But i will love you and im just glad to have u here with us. And Jonatan... Im sorry for this mess bro, this was all fucked up and im not letting a girl get in the way of our friendship. I love you man, so lets just squash it?" Ludwig turns to Jonatan giving him a hug. I smiled looking at the boys sorting their problems.
"Jonatan.. Im sorry i would sneak around with him, i didn't know what i wanted but now i finally know... I want you and i know you said you can't love me but i know we can work on that okay?" He hesitantly nodded. "Well you can go Ludwig, i need to speak to Jon in private.." He quietly leave closing the door behind him.

"Im sorry.. I love you Jonatan, i know u don't wanna trust me on that for your reasons but i really fucking do. It was you the entire time, remember the first eye contact with you and me?" I smile and he nods getting up and sitting next to me on the floor. "You were.. Well still are beautiful since that day i seen you. When Ben pointed you out i felt my problems melt away looking into your eyes." Jonatan connected his hand with mines.

I laid on the ground and he followed along still in hand with me. "Listen, i know you're not ready to tell me but, let me make a promise to you... I will never be like your ex gf... I couldn't hurt you for the hell of it, i want something with you and i promise if anything goes bad... I will still love you." I felt his soft lips kiss my cheek. A smile broke out on both of your faces. By now it was getting dark and i turn my blacklights on laying back down on the ground next to a sad Jonatan. "Wanna just smoke?" He says getting up to get some weed, i agree getting my blanket and phone. He came back with his stash closing the door and sitting next to me. I played on my phone while he rolled two blunts for me and him.

I took a picture of him and I smoking and posting it up with " Leansworld🌹👽💘 @ yunglean2001" tagging him and he smiled at me then taking a picture of us again. But the caption was as cheesy as mines "My LeanGirl 💚🌹👽". We laughed and talked for the whole night, and smoked till we felt like we couldn't move.
Everything was in place,and i was content with myself.

" Doctor diagnosed me with Clinical Depression... " i say softly to him. "Oh.." Was all he said to me. "Do you... Know.. Like cut?" I tell him yes and showed him my bandages. He runs his fingers across them softly.. "Im sorry, i hope you get better love." He kisses my head. We laid on the floor all night listening to beats by Axel and Micke.