I DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE NO MORE - Yung Lean Fic

★THIRTY-TWO★

AN// I havent really been on because i dont have the motivation, but im going to try again.

I sat on the back balcony where the sun was rising over the white blanket of snow over the houses, drinking my coffee and strumming the guitar Jonatan gifted me a few days ago, i sang one of my favorite songs by Rihanna, Never Ending. Everyone was asleep so i had alone time and just space to think and practice.

"Ghost in the mirror
I knew your face once, but now it's unclear
And I can't feel my body now
I'm separate from here and now
A drug and a dream
We lost connection, oh come back to me
So I can feel alive again
Soul and body try to mend
It's pulling me apart, this time
Everything is never ending
Slipped into a peril that
I'll never understand
This feeling always gets away
Wishing I could hold on longer
It doesn't have to feel so strange
To be in love again, to be in love again, to be in love again"

"Wow... Luna that was amazing..." Axel came from behind me, i slightly jumped not knowing he was even listening to me sing. "Sorry i thought everyone was asleep, i didnt mean to wake you up.. Uh i can keep it down if you want." i rambled on feeling bad that i might have woken everyone up. "No i couldnt sleep, so i was just going out of a smoke. Youre really good, you should try writing your own songs and singing them and i could help you produce some of the songs, your voice is like an angel!" Axel went on complementing me, i thanked him. His kind words made me feel good, so i picked it back up playing the same song because i knew it by heart. He pulled his phone out recording a snippet of me singing, and posted it on Instagram. I rolled my eyes because Sherm is my best friend and he's always recording me like a proud mom.

After he was done smoking, he got up stopping at the door, " Coming in soon?" I nodded. I wanted more time alone, I just need to clear my mind.

It was a brand new Year, and a lot has happened since that day I went to my first Yung Lean show. My life literally flipped upside down and such a blur. Who would have known I'd be living with the boys I look up to, being best friends with Sherman, dating a well know, talent guy Jonatan. Getting to experience all shows, parties, and new places and unfamiliar people and moving to Sweden.
Even the bad memories, fights, bad drug trips, drama, heart breaks. I wouldn't change it if I could. It was a hell of an experience and I've changed and my life isn't so normal now. We are all private people, but when meeting fans in public, I'm known for being "Yung Lean's girlfriend". And the boys don't really like when people bother them for pictures and the large crowds but they don't want to be rude.

Last year was crazy and I'm just trying to take a breather from all this and taking it all in.

"Fuck.. I'm cold I should get in now.." I mumbled to myself grabbing my now cold coffee and guitar heading inside the warm house. The Tv was playing cartoons, Axel laying on the couch. Heading towards the couch where his feet were, I lifted them sitting down so his feet are on my lap.

"You're fucking cold!!" Axel complained. Hushing him I kept my eyes on the TV, I just wanted to distract myself from over thinking.

Jonatan, and the boys all came out their rooms into the kitchen and living room. "GOOD MORNING BROTHERS!" Micke yelled throughout the house. It's great and all he's in good mood but it's the morning!

"You two up early.." Jonatan sat across from us. "Yep! Anyways good morning babe, how you feeling?" I asked making sure everything is fine. He shrugged, "Sorta restless but I'm fine, coffee should do."
I nodded as he got up going to the kitchen.

"FUCK MICKIE!!!" I shouted, he jumped on Axel and I." You're going to break my bones!!"
I try my best to get out of the now dog pile of long legs and bodies.
The two were too busy play fighting to notice a small girl was in the middle of the two, being crushed by them.
But I watched them as they pretended to slap each other around, the room was full of the two noodle boys laugh. I smiled, because they are precious to watch. Something about them being so close to each other and being sorta soft sided, open with each other is sweet. I watched them like some cheesy love movie, the two who secretly loved each other more than just a best friend brotherly love type of thing, more of deep down inside they we're meant to be together.

"Errmmm..." I couldn't feel my legs now, "Sorry to interrupt but my legs feel like they're been chopped off.." I untangled their legs and jumped out the dig pile.

I went to my room rolling a joint, and got ready for the day, I decided to head for some shopping therapy, to pass time. Everyone else is just working on music, and I have the day off, since Emilio and Femi are in Japan. I did the usual routine, shower, makeup and picking out my outfit for the day.
I heard a knock on the door, I wasn't sure who it was so I shouted for them to enter.

"What you up to?" Jonatan sat on my bed looking at me digging through my closet." Trying to find an outfit for today. Nothing really suits me.." I sighed plopping on the ground frustrated. "Here.. show me some outfits like a fashion show and I'll help you pick." He suggested with a smirk. "Cheeky bastard." I laughed getting into the first outfit. "Turn for me." He said. And I did as told. "Hmm next one." And I changed into the other one. And he once again told me to try the other one on. And the last one was a success, a Marilyn Manson tee,baggy pants with chain's, and his jacket. "Seems like the winner! You look so good." He complemented me, I smiled looking at him through the mirror.

" I look like my 13 year old self Jon.." it was true, what I mean is, I look like emo me came back to relive my past. But I guess it was a good outfit, if Jonatan says so.

"So you're going to leave?" He sighed, I nodded sitting on his lap. " I'll be back in an hour or so baby. Just some shopping and maybe get dinner for you brats." He reached to give me a kiss, gosh his lips. I can't believe I'm with this wonderful man. "Okay but no talking to strangers!or I'll have to beat them up." He joked about.

We said our goodbyes and I went on with my day, it was pretty early so I got coffee to help me survive this long day.
The streets were jam packed with traffic,I sighed with annoyance drinking my coffee. "You gotta be FUCKING kidding me.." saying to myself. I turned up Ben's new album, a fucking master piece. Even though eversince will be my favorite, but working on dying is pretty good. I smiled when Jonatans part on Lordship came on. Ill be that annoying girlfriend who will constantly show support for my mans.

The traffic finally started to clear and moving, I finally ended up in the parking garage finding the right spot. There was a lot of people there for it being the morning, I couldn't do much about that so I tried my best to pass all these people around me.

********************

I went to the shops for food, and I head back home to relax. It was honestly a stress day even though it was supposed to be a shop therapy day. Maybe a bubble bath?
"Jon, can you come out and help me bring in bags??" Speaking through the phone.

"Hey my shawty, how was it?" He pecked a kiss on my head. "Stressful?... It wasn't as planned but maybe a bubble bath will help.." I said locking the car up walking behind him with bags. "I'll go start one for you baby, don't worry. I'll take care of you angel." He set everything down going to start the bath.

"He's amazing" I thought to myself.

You can hear the water running and I headed to his room, where I find the tub filled with lots of bubbles. "Here you go babygirl, I'll be in here of you need anything." He pulled me into a hug kissing me.
"Thank you baby, you're so amazing, and sweet and everything I need." I say holding on to him longer, I can smell his cologne as my face snuggled into his chest. It help so good to be in his embrace, he makes me feel safe.

We let go, he left into his room not that far, I left the door open and undressed slowly laying in the warm water with bubbles everywhere. I was engulfed into the feeling of blissfulness, all my issues melting away.

// Hi please vote and let me know what you think, I've changed the names from their stage names to their actual names. So it might be a little different. But I hope you enjoy it. I'll be writing more often ❤️//