I DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE NO MORE - Yung Lean Fic

★THIRTY-NINE

We sat in the recovery room waiting for Ben to get out of surgery, it's been 5 days since everything has happened. Ben woke up yesterday and they had scheduled for surgery this morning. He was still in and out of consciousness, memory was very vague, forgetting what had happened and where he was. At one point we thought he forgotten who we we're, that scared us the most.
Silence filled the room, we still we're on edge and I was physically  recovering but mentally... I was still fucked up.
Nothing will help me forget what he put me through, the endless nightmares and waking up at 2am crying. I feel bad for Jonatan, i wont even let him comfort me, I don't like being touched anymore.

"Luna.." Jonatan broke the intense silence between us. "Hm." I mumbled looking at nothing in particular. "I think it's best if you and I, go back to Sweden so we can get you the help you need." It hit me how fucked everything is at this point. "What about Ben.." I focused my eyes on my fidgeting fingers, "The boys will stay till he's able to fly back home." He said getting up, Jonatan stood in front of me holding his hand out for mines. "Let me say bye to the guys." I walked passed him giving everyone a hug, and gave a long one to Axel. "See you when I get out the crazy house." I gave him a weak smile, and waved off to the rest as I walked by Jonatan.

"Everything will be okay Luna." He held on to my hand, as we got into the car with our bags already in the back the car. As we drove off to the airport, my tense body finally relaxed into Jonatans arms.

"I hope Ben is okay." My voice was weak, I played with Jonatans hand. "He will babe, he's a fighter." He planted a kiss on my head.

*••••••••*

"Now boarding to Sweden." The lady announced over the intercom system. Hand in hand with Jon, a fan had stopped him asking for a picture. I moved aside from them as they posed together. After that we walked on to the airplane taking a seat first class. It was much quieter than the other side, I was glad for that. Time seemed to be moving slowly, I wanted nothing more than to be home in my own bed, away from everyone including Jonatan. It's funny how I don't want to be alone yet I don't want to be around anyone.

"Rest Luna, it's a 10 hour flight home." Jonatan spoke up as we took off into the air. I put my headphones in and blasted music to help me with the thoughts in my head, and to pass time.

I closed my eyes, yet I'm not tired, my head once again was replaying back to the nights with him. I pushed those thoughts away, I let the music soothe me, it's dark.
"Obviously Luna.. your eyes are closed." I sort of talked to myself in my head? It was just dark, no images or anything. It was better then seeing him..

What will happen to me when I'm in that mental hospital? My heart hurts thinking about losing everything I have, what if I'm never the same? What if I can't feel those feelings I have for Jonatan? Will anything be the same?
All these questions ran through my head, it probably seems quite silly, knowing things will eventually get back to how it was. But don't you ever just think, there's a slight chance life could just crumble into pieces and all your fears just become true? Your worst nightmare is now living.

Eventually my mind became foggy and I slowly let myself fade off to the songs playing as we we're in mid air.

• Jonatans POV •

I couldn't sleep, I couldn't rest knowing that once we land Luna will be once again taken away from me. But it's for the best... Right?
Of course it is Jonatan, she's been through shit and really need the help.