chapter thirty nine. home not so sweet home. part two.
**kinda a longggg chapter but it contains a lot that deals with the rest of the book.
S E R E N I T Y.
"Has anyone seen Jace?" Searching around, I heard more and more no's. He wasn't answering my calls, figures. At this point I didn't care about our big blow up, I just wanted to make sure he was okay.
When I heard the fans start chanting my name, I knew it was time. I clamped my hands together and prayed over both his and I safety.
The second I got on stage, I smiled. This is really my life. This is my living. "Hello angels!" I shouted looking out into the crowd of smiling faces. "Are we ready for a good time?"
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As I was performing, I thought about something. Something that I think about more and often. What if one day I wake up and say I'm done? That I just give up. It's a bad thought I know but I just think at night. It's been happening for a while and I think it's a sign.
Everything takes a toll on me. That's just how I am. It's like a heaping pile of mess. It scares me to death. "If y'all don't mind, I feel like ranting for a bit."
I giggled hearing a bunch of "take ya time baby" and "talk all you want."
"I never thought that I would performing in front of huge crowds like this. I'm serious. I thought I would be one of those who would look back and think "what if". Do not doubt you or your self worth, y'all hear me? If you dream it, go for it. Don't let anyone tell you you can't because I'm here telling you all that you can."
I saw a majority of people clapping and some of others nodding their heads. If it isn't obvious enough, I want to be remembered. Remembered for being a good person, a good singer, something good.
"Okay I got one last thing to say then I'm done because y'all paid to hear me sing not rant ; never allow someone to provoke you to the point where they gain control over your character and you no longer recognize who you are. Thank you."
☽
After the show, I went back to the hotel, worn out and drained. Closing the door with one foot, my face hit the bed first and I exhaled in relief. I felt myself drift off to sleep before I heard the knob twist.
Jumping up, I flung the door open and felt calm seeing Jace. "Thank God." My instinct was to jump on him and attack him with kisses. Then my brain caught up to speed and I pulled away, punching him in his arm. "Where the hell were you? You had me worried sick!"
