elysian ➝ n.k • b.t

forty four

i wanna dedicate this chapter for anyone who feels they have nothing left to live for. there are so many people who care about you and so many things left to accomplish in the world. there's always a reason, please find them within you. enjoy 🦋

chapter forty four.
gone girl.

( warning: topic of suicide )

J A C E

Not less than twenty four hours of breaking the news to Serenity, she shut down. Like completely.

She wouldn't speak nor eat. If she wasn't sleep, all she would do is stare at the walls. It was a side of her that I never thought existed. When I got to her room the next day, she was writing.

She stopped when she felt the presence of someone but didn't look up. In my hand, I held a stuffed tiger. It wasn't much but I wanted to see I was here for her. That she isn't the only one hurting.

"I thought I told them no visitors." She utters writing something then erasing it. Space was the last thing she needed. But I know Serenity and she doesn't want us to see her hurting.

"I know. I know but I still wanted to see you." I went around to the chair next to her bed and sat in it. She has yet to look up at me still. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't know Jace. How would feel if you've been hurt internally, abused physically, scarred mentally and still asked to go on with your life like you're some fucking robot?"

"I'm sorry." I mumble playing with the ear of the animal. I figured my best bet for now was to keep quiet.

I wanted to know what she was writing. Her feelings? A song? Maybe a letter? I don't know. She wouldn't let me see. Shit, she wouldn't let me talk to her. I decided to get comfortable since I was going to be here until hours were over. Whether she liked it or not.

"What are you doing?"

"Sitting?"

"I said no visitors. Especially you."

"You think isolating yourself will solve anything?"

"Jace, please leave before I call security." Wow, now she's threatening me.

"Go ahead and call them. They'll have to drag my ass out of here." I shrugged.

Tension was thick. We're both so stubborn. And neither of us would break. Her body shifted so that she wasn't facing me where she continued to write.

I went on my phone and began scrolling through my feed on Twitter. Most of the mentions were saying how strong Serenity is and that she'll pull through this and bounce back. Is it bad that I don't necessarily agree?

How she's acting right now can be phase number one and it'll get worse from here on out.

"If the doctors come in, just say I went to the bathroom. I hate those potty things." She shuts her notebook close with the pen still in the page she was on. Her legs carefully swing over the side as she stands up slowly.

"Sure."

When I heard her proceed down the hall, I felt the urge to read what she had been writing. So I picked it up.