Falling Hard

Page 21

Houston, Texas
November 27, 2013
Wednesday
The Diner Miner
Beyonce Pov

Sitting down at the table. Spending my Thanksgiving break lonely. Which I deserve to be. Did I say I was depress before?

I didn't know what it mean until now.

Sitting here in sorrow, letting my appearance tell you my puzzled emotions.

Getting lost into another dimension that I'm not sure I'm even belong.

That dimension is being with Rihanna. I'm not sure that's going to happen. Ever. Not sure if I even want it to happen.

I know. Choose Bey, who do you want to be with for the rest of your life? I know you are screaming at me with that question. So I am.

But I have a question for you guys.

A girl or guy, which ever one...they come into town and you're already in a relationship with a person you thought you loved. Long story short...all that change. Over a kiss.

Not saying you have to exactly choose but...you have to. Which one is it? Your boyfriend or girlfriend you been with since freshman year or the new girl or guy who makes you feel invincible?

I'm sure you're going to pick the new person on how you feel. But how will that other person feel? Do you care about their emotions? About the time you wasted? Their time. All the good memories flooding away because you broke up with them over a new spark of...difference.

I don't want to break Shawn's heart. Nor do I want to break Robyn's.

But it seems to me I had already done that.

"What happen to I'll do better, huh? I'll try?!" Her volume become louder with every word crushing me down.

"I am trying." At least I thought I was.

"Yeah? Well not hard enough." She gestured with her hand.

I don't say anything because I'm tired of apologizing. She is too.

"You know, Beyonce. I'm tired of this. I should've never even kiss you that night. Being with you was better off in my dreams. I never in my life met someone as confusing as you. You don't know what you want. Obviously it is me.....or not. Ir maybe it's just sexual attraction." Her sarcasm was off the radar.

I huff wanting to go home.

"I wish my never even agreed to it anyway." I spat back. "And yeah maybe if you hadn't kiss me, I'll probably be more happy." And I'm not. I was just letting my emotions take advantage of me. It did just that. "If...if you are not happy with me...an--and I'm so confusing then maybe we shouldn't see eachother. It will better if we should stay friends and only friends."

You know my mom said to never have regrets in your life because it's going to keep you behind and the more you ponder on it, wishing you never did that or say that. You're going to regret it.

I counted that as my first regret.

Although breaking up with Shawn should've been my first regret. Somehow it wasn't.

Breathing in and out calm, thinking of the right words. Hopefully there are some right words for a breakup.

Matter of fact there are.

It just the reaction that makes them bad.

Seeing Shawn body come into view from a far I sat up getting prepared. He sits down glancing at me before staring at my side profile.