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Lets begin
Shall we?
Suffer.
Suffer.
Suffer.
Suffer.
Suffer.
Suffer.
Suffer.
That's not enough.
More?
Suffer.
Suffer.
Suffer.
Better
I think.
You've found out,
how deficient of me?
I hurt but she hurts more.
My hurt shouldn't matter.
Me seeing her broken apart because of my doing, was like someone shoving their hand into chest, cracking through every bones and reaching over to my heart, squeezing it.
Over
and
Over
and
Over
again.
Drinking it away, doesn't work.
It just burns, burns as in it sizzles, bubbling till it dies down, cooling.
Not until I do it again on repeat.
I thought my body would melt
away with all the fire I'm going
through.
Loud jungle smells didn't help
either. The trees aren't effective
neither. It just make me goes deeper into my feelings.
Sitting there in the lonely apartment
I was losing it. Not just my idiotic
mind, but the apartment as well.
I've been fired from my job,
they told me over the phone.
I would call them a coward
but look at me...
Weeks flew by, she had already
gotten her stuff. Of course, I tried
everything to get her to stay so we
can work it out.
I suppose the grabbing
and
screaming for her didn't
work,
It just broke her heart
more.
She
had
pity
on me, and I thought I
could use that to my
advantage. Me being
that selfish Robyn, I
wanted her to take pity.
Nicki and Kehlani wouldn't
let her. No matter how long I
hug her, they was there to break
us apart–although it was my
doing.
The apologies, getting on my knees,
crawling to her, nothing please her.
It was just powerless orbs that I still love–is falling apart, pieces by piece.
Zooming into her eyes, it was just gloomy...out of state. They were wet but she wasn't crying. It was the wetness just made a place in her eyes. I caught sighting of her world crashing down before me in her eyes.
The Diner Miner fell devastatingly slow, her and I still on top of the roof. She blink, I caught another glimpse of her in the grass field, running towards me. Everything was joyful until fire started mindlessly everywhere–we had no place to go.
Every blink of the eye got slower when I look into them. Wind of a tornado splitting us apart, we disappeared in other directions.
Hearing her blink in slow motion, something shook. Everything that her eyes had showed me, flickering pass in a flash–it then ended. It was now just a regular of pair honey brown eyes worn out; full of hurt.
Zooming out, I appeared to be hypnotized. Her body would zoom out only to come back through her eyes repeatedly. Like a broken record.
Like a broken heart.
I broke my trance once I heard her say–
"Goodbye." To me.
I knew it wasn't goodbye–it couldn't be. But what hurt me more was that she carefully slip the ring off, handing it towards me.
I had no intention on taking it from her.
Noticing my uncooperative demeanor, it was time for them to go. She had no choice but to leave it here, on the floor in front of me.
That what it was like gazing into her eyes, but I could only get so far. The further I tried to go deeper the more her iris would close up.
I wanted to rip out my heart and give it to her in return. But what good another broken heart would do?
I wanted to give her my eyes in return, so it would be somewhat dry and healthy. But mines is no better.
A week suffers through, I call her.
Plenty of times it went straight voicemail. Stopping by her previous job, I thought she could've return there.
She is nowhere to be found. Neither is Nicki. Nor is Kehlani–they all went MIA...but only from me. They aren't hidden from the rest of the world.
Suffer.
Okay.
Suffer.
Alright.
Suffer.
Okay...you got it.
Suffer.
Alright...enough.
Suffer! Suffer! Suffer!
We've both shattered. The pieces are everywhere, there is no freedom–nowhere to place my foot down.
Beating hearts are laying everywhere, some dying, some beating way too fast, some split in half. Blood leaking from them.
Bloop
Bloop
Bloop
Splattered on the hardwood floor.
That how our heart feel...
I feel–
Congratulations
You've made it.
You've made it to stage:
Broken.
__________________________
YOU ARE READING
Falling Hard
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