Falling Hard

Chapter 8: Glue

I didn't think it was possible. Falling for someone who you've already in love with. I've already fallen for her more, and she captured me...somehow...

I'm still in midair.

Feeling the sharp wind cut into my skin, as I fall into blackness. My body roam freely as if it had no choice. My hair, flowing desperately. There is nothing I could do.

And I hate that feeling.

I can't control my feelings for her. It seems that no matter how much wrongs she does...I may be by her side. Like it is a prophecy. Like I am made to be by her side at all times. Even if the wrongs outweighs the rights.

And I hate that too.

Being without her even if she is the cause for all the agony she serve to me.

I hit back only to get hit back in the face.

Sometimes I wish the world was perfect...like her. I wish it was filled with just love and passion...like her.

But what is love without hate?
What is life without her?

What is hate without love?
What if I didn't forgive her...because I was hateful?

If...if there is no hate, they'll wouldn't be experiences.

So I hated her, I tried, I really did. As matter of fact, I did truly hate her...maybe for a day or two. That was before I started to miss her and cherish her, and I was the broken one.

Yet I'm still in midair...

For her, or her love and not for her hate. And if she didn't did what she did?

Would I have fallen deeper for her? Would I look at her like she is the last human on this, here, earth? Would just the touch of her skin rubbing against mines, jolt with much electricity that I would have to snatch it away?

Would I have felt that before if she didn't did what did?

She is not perfect, and neither am I. Love and hate is not perfect yet we have similarities to them. We use them, sometime unintentionally.

I don't think I'm going to ever stop falling. I don't think I will be able to remove this horrifying pit in my stomach; especially when I'm with her. I'm more nervous then I've ever been. I want to look perfect for her. I want her to look at me like she use to, even though she never did stop.

I feel like I am in high school again.

Though, in high school, I had fell for her, I was sure it was over, she was the one. And she is.

It just...I never knew that I was suppose to still be falling.

When ever she was taking me on dates, I flattered.

Now...now that she is finding her way back to me, and taking me out, I am scared shitless.

I feel, just grabbing her hand would make me sweat, and high-strung because I feel like I'm not holding it right. I can't look her in the eyes more than three second without thinking, 'Don't leave me...please.' Hugging her is just as much as kissing her on the lips.