A Painful Life

Worst Gift!

I thought everything was already fine..guess not...so much resent...It got worse..

beyond what I can handle...
In this darkness, I have no candle..
I sought for acceptance..
You all still hate me beyond repentance...

I grew more silent..
I grew more from this torment...
I just want to smile!
BUT NOW, I JUST WANNA DIE!

Everyday, a tear shall trickle
But I may no longer hear the Christmas bells jingle..
To be hated on everyday..
I tried to resist breaking...mayday mayday...

Even the young ones see me as a weak person...
I live my life....fucking prison!
So what if I have no father?!
Am I different from the others?

I know, I'm horrible!
I know, I'm gullible!
But why was I chosen to be hated on...
I wished I was already gone!

I made a simple mistake, me, you have ignored..
I know I was never favoured...
My family never did!
But my life I shall bid!

To have dozens of heads against you..
I'm worth hating, so true...
I'm different..
A monster, yet I try to repent...

To hear the stories makes me cry...
It makes it easier for me die!
I used to be noticed, now I'm hated...
Now my clothes, in blood I'm tainted!

Judge me....
Hate me...
Reject me...
Normal...all normal...

You called me nonsense!
You said I had no friends!
That's why I'm always bullied, you said
Now you gone too far, I wish I was dead..

You forced me to remember the unremembered
Past is in the past, and you who told me, I shuddered..
You don't understand my life! YOU DON'T!
But to nowhere I shall float!

The yelling...
The hitting...
The hating...
The changing...

It all got worse...I feel out of options now...out of options...no more...

I want to fight back
But it would make me look bad
I'm the bad guy...
The one who shall die...

I deserve no happiness...
More sadness...
More hatred...
Life was entrusted...

Life- worst gift I received...