My mind is a tug o' war, back and forth on what I should do..
There's thoughts that I wanna pour, but I have no one to pour 'em to..
I reach out and get ignored, I feel depressed and I blame you..
All this pain that I endured, left me broken and split in two..
I swear I only have two modes – all-time highs and all-time lows...I can't get a grip on myself, so I sit and I yell
And I'm trying not to lose hope
I lost everyone I had close, no wonder why I feel alone
Sometimes I wanna grab ropes, stick my neck in the noose, dangle and let my ass choke
I'm sick of love, only reason I'm hurt
I'm sick of giving my heart, sick of playing my part
Just for you to let me go when I put you first
Fuck you, I mean literally fuck you
Girl, I don't even need you
I'm on the rise and I wouldn't wanna be you
If I got one wish, I'd wish I didn't see youMy, depressants are pressing, it's taking control of me
I'm losin' myself and I can't get a hold of me
I see my reflection and don't even know it's me
I feel alone and they don't even notice meBut how can I blame them when I'm out of line?
One minute I'm sad and the next I am fine..
There's so much inconsistency in my mind..
Just, know that I'm trying..I don't know, where to go, highs and lows...
Broken, empty, pain, envy
Love? Deadly, lust? Tempting
I just want to feel somethin' right now, anything, anything
I give my aunt a smile right now, everything, everything
I'm so sick of crying, I just wanna dieThoughts of suicide, just know I lost hope
Say I victimize, give me weak advice
Like I'm lying just to get likes on my post
Say it's in my mind, say I never try
Like you know me, sorry, you really don't
Why'd I even try to tell you my side, when deep in your eyes I'm just a big joke?Tryna live lately feels like a chore
I fight in my mind since my mind is
I stare at my phone 'cause I'm tryna ignore that I realize there's no point to life anymoreAnd it sucks, I lost touch of the real me
Is there anyone out there that feels me?
'Cause my hope is decreasing severely
I scream to God and it's like he don't hear me, so
I sit in silence, my mind's in control of me
I know this isn't what life is supposed to be
Is there anyone around 'cause it's only me?
I lost everyone that's ever been close to meBut how can I blame them when I'm out of line?
One minute I'm sad and the next I am fine...
There's so much inconsistency in my mind..
Just, know that I'm trying...
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A Painful Life
PoetryPain, Joy, Love, Happiness, Chance, Fear, Regret and misfortune. What is wrong with me. I go through this almost everyday. Mostly pain and Fear. I'm scared of losing my friends, my only family! Why?.. Because people see me differently. Forgive me i...