A Painful Life

Wish

I just wished smile!
But now I wanna die
I sought forgiveness...
But not repentance..

I fought my depression...
But it didn't stop my lacerations..
I thought it was finished...
But it was just more anguish...

I want to sleep forever...
But pain is just stronger than ever...
Then I cut...beyond satisfaction...
Just to rid of bad emotions...

I wanted to be accepted for who I am..
But I was torn down my them...
I hope an end is near...
I don't wanna feel any fear...

I'm drowning in anguish..
Nothing should shall nourish...
I'm not worthy of anything!
For I just sought an ending...

To rid of depression..
Is just one more sweet incision..
One beginning
One ending..

Why am I worth the hate?
Is this fate?!
I'm just a reject..
With no intellect..

The deeper I go..
Blood shall flow..
I sought silence...
I'm in no need for thy condolences..