A Painful Life

Full-Throttle

Despair, pain, regret, unaccaptance. They became my friends for they are me.I am them.
I somehow got used to them. Who was there for me? Who was by my side?
I don't know anymore!
Who is with me!? Nobody will.
Who would be with a freak like me?

All I do is think for what good could I do in my life. Sometimes I think what good would happen. Sometimes I think if I'm I any good.

Their's not much to expect from me *laughs*
I'm unwanted at home. I'm unwanted outside, that is only to be expected. If you think I'm successful. Well I'm a failure in most of people's view.
Sometimes I wanted to cry out of pain.
My inside is screaming and crying, in pain!

I wanted to dream. I love dreams very much.
Although My dreams are a disaster. It haunts me almost everytime. I can't handle it anymore! I cannot forget my life, my past, all the bad things that happend.

I was around many people. But were there any to accept me? I know some friends who are faking it, I know some friends who speak behind me, I know some friends who hates me .

Who am I to be approached?

My family is a disaster. My life is a disaster.
PAIN! PAIN! PAIN!

I have difficulty trusting, having fun, and being loved and accepted.

What is wrong with me?! WHAT IS WRONG!?

People see me differently. Or are they just the bad people who doesn't like me. Or am I the mistake infront of their faces.

If I could dream forever. But my dreams are too a disaster. It used to be the best dreams. But ever since things changed. I barely had enough sleep. I am ALONE. I am Hated. Unaccepted. What is wrong!? I can't take it anymore. Cry,Cry, Cry, Cry.

I will wake you up when things are all better now. Hush now. Hush hush. Hush now my hurt one.

Leave me be..Leave me be! LEAVE ME BE!!
Everyone approaches me but shuts me out!
The dark shall consume me. The light will blind me, to go into the dark.

Fake reality is truth enjoyed. Reality is true pain experienced. *laughs and cries*
What do you see in me? A monster? A FREAK?! If that is so, then so it be! *laughs*

The Boys life
He hasn't ever been alive
All he wanted to do is strive
And Just find the right light
Not the wrong but the right
He had wrong friends because of poor eye sight

This boy
Is such a toy
For His life shall not be enjoyed
For their is a dark essence in the end of the pathwalk.

Who am I?
is that all right?
is that me unshone by the light?
Am I alone?

Kill me
For I shall be free
Off my killing spree
For may I stop being called Freak!
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!PLEASE!

What could free me besides DEATH
For I have been among the Dead!
Alone and unfed.

Feed me, feed me, feed me. FEED ME JOY. Notice me...
The Dark doesn't want to little one!
I AM ALONE PLEASE!
Then may pain educate you my little boy!