BTS Dark One-Shots {On Hold for Requests}

Hiraeth [Jin]

This was requested by gangbangtanned. I hope you like it! It also kind of went off track than the request, so I hope that's fine. Happy Reading! <3

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Hiraeth: a longing for a home that you can never had or could return to . . . ever.

"You know I would never let you go."

Tears rolled down my cheeks, chapping the skin. My body kept trying to gasp for a breath, my chest in pain from what had just occurred. Small hiccups escaped me, almost inevitable at this point. The war of me trying to hold in the tears as my body felt like it was swimming in humidity was lost. I was no longer capable of holding myself together.

I looked up at him. He stood over me, his eyes seeming to be blank. He had no emotions. If he did, he would have never done anything to me like he had. In his hand was a small scalpel, probably stolen. The tip of it was coated in red blood, dripping off the blade and onto the dirty basement floor. It was almost beautiful in a way that the blood dripped away. In a scarily beautiful way.

He took a step towards me, towering over me. I caught a breath as I watched him lean over, his face coming dangerously close to me. He had a mix of smells, almost intoxicating. Our eyes met, his brown ones seeming to taunt over mine. It only could take a matter of a millisecond for him to close the gap, but he only stared.

"Just kill me already," I hissed, a hiccup overtaking me. There went trying to be brave and stand up for myself. "You already put me through enough torture."

"I only have love for you. Why would I kill someone I love?" His hot breath hit my cheeks, sending heat waves along them. He seemed so calm and collected. I wished for him to snap already. To stop this torture and to get on with my death. I didn't care if I was someone he loved. I only cared about getting out of there.

"What the hell do you even want from me?"

As I suspected, he filled in the gap, our lips meeting. His were gentle, unlike his intentions. I didn't kiss back. This guy had stolen my first kiss. He had taken everything from me. My blood, my tears, my lips, my happiness. They were all taken away with a swoop of his hand, almost like none of what he did mattered to me. Well, it did matter. It mattered in so many ways possible that he couldn't bring any of them back.

His lips parted away from mine, his forehead leaning against my head. His free hand landed on my stained cheek, wiping my tears away with the swoop of his thumb. Him being so close made my heart pound. I shuddered under his grip. Against my thigh, I could feel the metal scalpel lightly brush it. I stiffened.

"How can I make you love me?" he asked quietly. He must of known that the scalpel was brushing against my thigh because it instantly pulled away. I felt a little bit better, but I was still trapped under his grasp. I was trapped within his house in the basement. I couldn't escape.

"Maybe you could try not hurting me. That's a suggestion," I said through gritted teeth. My chest was still in pain, the hot blood running down to my stomach. I could almost mistake it as sweat rolling across my skin, but his scalpel in my skin was too much to remember. It was a horrible thought to even remember.

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly. Did I hear a small hiccup of sadness? I opened my eyes to see if he was crying, and I could see small tears rolling down his cheeks. "I never meant to hurt you. I just want your love. I don't know how to get it from you in return."

My heart instantly dropped to my stomach. I'd only seen a guy cry once, and that was because something horrible happened. I never thought I would see one cry again. Not under this circumstance. I had started to become soft when I knew I had to stay strong. One of my hands tried reaching up, but it was stopped by the rope in the way that kept me held down.

"Please don't cry," I said softly, my fears and hatred being swept away. I watched as his eyes slowly opened to meet mine, their blankness gone. It was replaced with sorrow and guilt, almost like a puppy. I was growing more dreadful by the second. "I thought you were just . . . I didn't think . . ."

His lips crashed into mine again, hungrier. I responded back, my lips moving against his. My mind was foggy. I wasn't thinking straight, obviously. I didn't think I would fall into a trap he would make out of pity. A pit of pity that he was making me wallow in. I didn't want to give into anyone like this, but his pain was making me pain. He was truly insane, but what was he? A psychopath? A sociopath? He seemed like he knew what he was doing, but his intentions were ones of a psychopath. He confused me tremendously.

The scalpel suddenly slipped into my thigh in a clean cut. I gasped, the kiss becoming deeper. Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks, staining them with salt. The adrenaline from the pain made my senses go crazy, my brain foggy. I could feel the blood leaking down from my thigh, a huge gap within in the skin. I was going to bleed out if he wasn't careful. Wasn't he careful so far, though? It probably didn't matter to him, probably thinking to himself that he would fix it up quickly.

His lips pulled away after awhile, his hand throwing the scalpel to the floor. His hand suddenly slammed down onto the wound in my thigh, making me scream. His other hand clapped on my mouth before I could do any major vocals. I felt myself sob and yell into his hand as he looked down at me, his eyes blank once more. He wasn't mentally correct. He had to be a psychopath.

"It's just a small cut," he said with a crazed laugh, a smile coming across his face. His cheeks were dried from their tears. He was slowly going crazy, his eyes not able to focus on me. He was slightly jittering, looking around frantically. His eyes met with my thigh. "Just a little cut . . . Don't worry . . ."

After a few mumbles under his breath, he finally spat out something that made sense. "Say that you love me!"

His hand uncupped itself from my mouth, letting me take a breath of humid air. A sob racked my body, letting my voice slightly yell out. I looked up at him, then at my thigh. His hand was pressing against the wound so hard that it was going numb. Blood gushed out from between his fingers, flowing down like a waterfall. I gave another small scream, almost like this one was out of frustration.

"Say it, Y/N! Say it, and I'll save you from this hell!"

"I love you!" I yelled out, my head throwing itself back, my eyes slamming shut. My teeth gritted against each other as I breathed through them, trying to grab as much of a breath as I could. "I love you, Kim Seokjin!"

The hand that was free from my thigh yanked my chin down, his lips crashing into mine. I felt myself start to sob as I made myself kiss back. This was the only way to get help. This was the only way to keep myself okay in his grasp. He would help me when he became sane again. I would be okay in the end. If I just loved him, he would turn out okay. That's all I wanted. That's all I needed. I hated myself for it, but it would become normal for me. With a monster like him, it would be a roller coaster of a ride for me.