BTS Dark One-Shots {On Hold for Requests}

Untitled Part 41

"what do you have to report this week?"

"i'm still numb."

the walls were painted a light blue. funny how you didn't notice that before.

the woman gave her normal nod. she didn't have a clipboard this time. "you're still recovering. i understand that."

you sucked in a shaky breath, clenching your fists against your thighs. you felt tight today.

"how is namjoon?"

"he's recovering well, from what i'm hearing. still trying to get over the urge to drink."

you gave a nod of the head.

"i miss him."

"what do you miss about him?"

you went silent.

"it's okay to talk about this stuff. this is a safe space. i won't judge you."

you bit your lip. "i miss his touch . . . and his voice . . ."

"can you elaborate?"

you gave the woman a pleading look. "do i have to?"

"it's part of healing."

you wanted to cry. "i . . . i miss the way . . ."

"let's start by with his voice."

"the way he used to yell at me . . ."

"okay. keep going."

you body was shaking. "and . . . and . . ."

"can you tell me what he would say to you?"

"i . . ."

"take your time."

"he would say that he hated me."

"is that all?"

you shook your head.

the woman gave you a caring look. "then continue on."

"s-sometimes he said he wished he could kill me . . ."

"how did that make you feel?"

it took you a second to recover. "i-i don't know . . ."

"were you afraid of dying?"

"i don't know . . ."

"did he ever say how he would kill you?"

"he never said," you said. you felt a tear slip down your cheek. "he just said he would."

"and you still miss him."

you wanted to keep crying, but you wiped the second and first tears away. "please stop."

"you still miss him."

"yes, i still do."

"because you like his touch and voice."

"yes."

the woman gave a nod, like she was taking it in. she always seemed to be methodically planning her words. maybe that was part of her training, or maybe she just knew you would snap if she said something wrong.

"did he abuse you?"

"i let it happen."

"but he still abused you."

you got up from the couch, gathering your stuff. tears still ran down your cheeks. "i'm done."

"y/n, stay. you need to talk more."

"not today. next week."