Terror

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Clary woke up from terror. She looked at the clock, seven o'clock, this is the longest she has slept in since she got back.

Two weeks have passed and Jace hasn't gotten any better. Clary has been having the feeling of being eaten from the inside out. She wasn't eating or really sleeping, the only time she really did sleep she didn't dream or she had nightmares about Sebastian, her brother. She would wake up in the middle of the night coated with sweat, bright red from the heat of the dreams, the dreams were so real that when she woke up she could swear she could still see Sebastian staring at her with the murderous desire for her. The memories replayed over and over in her head. Jace and her in the club, the dead bodies everywhere, the fight with Sebastian when they were alone his tongue whipping out and licking her blood, Sebastian trying to get her out of her jeans, Jace's face when she stabbed him. But one thing that ate at her most was the words Sebastian said to her. "I belong to you." Clary hasn't told anyone about this. The most they know is that she and Sebastian had a misunderstanding that lead to a few cuts and bruises, no one knows that he actually tried to rape her. It is eating her alive, she has to tell someone, but who. She can't tell Jace, he would literally go up in flames. That whole heavenly fire thing has control so they can hardly touch. I can't ask Simon to keep a secret like that. Her and Alec haven't really been close, plus the fact he is Jace's parabatai and would feel inclined to tell him. She could only think of one person to tell but she was still a little weary of the idea, they might be freaked out and look at me like a kicked puppy, but I will tell someone. Before Clary had even decided what she was doing she was up and dressed and out the door, after scribbling a note to her mom and Luke explaining where she was, even though she was sure they already knew.

Jace stood in the training room throwing knives at the dummies. He was on lockdown due to the Silent Brothers orders. When he wasn't in the infirmary he was in the greenhouse or the training room. The only way he would get his anger out. When he was angry he got fired up, really. He was told he had to try and stay calm as much as he could, or he would go up in flames. He was pretty much banned from getting angry or doing anything that could cause an adrenaline rush. He hasn't been allowed to leave the Institute since he got back. He was angry, he was cooped up in this damn place and he couldn't even touch Clary without burning her. That is what killed him most. She says it won't get in the way but he knows she feels guilty. It doesn't matter how many times he tells her it isn't her fault, she doesn't listen. But that's Clary for you, never listens. She can say that she believe Jace over and over again, but he can see it in her. Jace also tends to think Clary is keeping something from him, but why, what could be so bad that she doesn't want him knowing?

Only one thing reaches into his mind. Sebastian. Jace twirls the Herondale dagger in his hand and then throws it with shear force, it rips through the dummy and buries itself into the wall with a hint of flame to it.

"Wow. You must be really pissed at that dummy. What did he do to you?" a voice comes from the door. "Ohh I know, he looked at you the wrong way. Wait, I got it, did he say you were unattractive?" Jace looked over to see Simon standing in the doorway.

Turns out that the same Nephilim blood that make it possible for Simon to walk in daylight makes it possible for him to come and go through the Institute too.

"What do you want, leech?" Jace asked.

"Always so pleasant aren't you? Isabelle asked me to come check on you, she said she heard loud thumping noises against the walls. She wanted me to remind you that is she has to put another fireproof rune on the walls she is going to kill you."

This is true, the third day he was back he got really pissed off at Brother Zachariah and Brother Enoch for poking him one to many times and accidently threw a dagger ignited in flames at the wall which Isabelle had to put out she then threw the dagger back just barely missing Jace's shoulder. She said she would put fireproof runes and then threatened him with her claws.

"I'm fine. I just want to be alone. "Jace replied.

"Well sorry to burst your bubble, but the Brother Zachariah wants a word with you too."

"Of course he does." Jace sneered.

Clary was face to face with the Institute doors. She reached for the door knob and it opened under her touch. She like the feeling that she could come and go when she pleased and no one had a problem with it. She walked through the pews and to the elevator door and pressed the call button. She was bouncing on the balls of her feet as she anxiously waited. When the doors opened up she saw the familiar picture of Raziel with the mortal instruments, it felt almost comforting.

She stood at Isabelle's door for a moment and then knocked on it. Clary was expecting Isabelle to answer only to get a very worried Maryse. Clary stood shocked for a second before recovering herself.

"Hello Maryse, I was wondering if I could talk to Isabelle, is she in there?"

"I'm right here Clary. Mom you can leave now." Isabelle said. "Thank you!" she yelled as her mother left her room.

Clary came in and shut the door. She looked at Isabelle as if the world just came crashing around her. Isabelle saw the look on Clary's face and looked as if someone just smacked her. The look on Clary's face was heartbreaking. She looked terrified, crushed, broken, and a little relieved.

"Oh, my God, Clary what's wrong, you look as if you and--- You and Jace didn't break up did you? Is that why he seems pissed? Well, he always seems pissed, but nothing bad right? He's okay right? Oh Clary please---"

Clary cut her off. "This isn't about Jace, it's about something I haven't told anyone and I'm really scared Izzy. It's about..." Clary broke off in tears. "It's about..." she couldn't even finish the sentence before Isabelle got up and hugged her.

"It's alright Clary, you don't have to say his name I already know who you are talking about." Izzy got up and locked the door and put a soundless rune on it, she knew Clary was scared of anyone hearing what was about to be said.

"Just don't look at me with pity, or that I am some baby that needs to be taken care of. And don't tell anyone, especially Jace! You have to swear on the angle you won't tell anyone, especially Jace!"

"Okay, I swear on the angel I won't tell. So what happened?" Then Clary launched into the story of why she was crying her eyes out, why she can't eat or sleep.

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