iMessage -REDDIE ☾

what did i do?

Bill; richieeee

Bev; dont hide

Stan; we gonna figure this shit out- zane and matt about heaths stolen truck.

Richie; what what what did i do

Bill; oh nothing. 

Bev; we just saw you at lunch

Richie; what happened at lunch

Stan; you and eddie

Richie; hahahaha that conversation was so funny

Bill; what happened

Bev; yeah gimme the deets

Stan; i dont really care but i wanna see if bev was right

Richie; so stan u know how i told u abt the convo me and eds had

Stan; yes. can i just say u r so dumb

Bev; yes stan u can say that

Bill; what was it about

Richie; so the other day me and eddie were talking about who at school we would fuck 

Bill; im sorry i asked

Bev; i hope my name didnt come up

Stan; nope ur name didnt come up bev. but guess whose did

Bill; yours?

Richie; yuhuh

Richie; i just wanted eds to know if i were to ever fuck a guy it would be my ol' pal stan

Stan; my name wasnt the only name that came up

Richie; oh yeah. bill. the little dweeb said he would fuck u

Richie; can u believe that? U. he'd fuck u and not me. smh

Bill; 🙄🙄🙄

Richie; so at lunch i went up to him

Bev; I KNEW IT! U LIKE HIM

Richie; uh bevy, sweety, baby let me finish

Stan; 😒

Richie; i was like " hey eds. so you know how u said u wanted to fuck my friend?"

Richie; and he was all "uh... yeah... i guess"

Bev; no u didnt rich

Richie; i swear to god bev this happened

Stan; i believe him 

Bill; what did u do rich

Richie; well i said "well he isnt getting any action from bev so maybe he is down to bang u"

Bill; WHAT

Bev; RICHARD!!!!!!!!!

Stan; yup pretty much what i was expecting.

Richie; anyway he got all blushy and i laughed and said it was a joke and he punched my arm, really hard by the way, and that was it.

Bill; omg i cannot with you right now

Bev; u deserve more than a punch in the arm

Richie; what did i do wrong. i was just making conversation 

Stan; for once im on ur side rich

Bill; really stan u dont see what is wrong with that

Richie; what it was just harmless teasing

Bev; u better make sure he knew u were joking

Richie; dont worry he knew

Bev; how do u know for sure?

Stan; come on bev. he did nothing wrong.

Richie; thank you stan

Bill; ok. as long as he knew u were joking.

Bev; hmph im gonna go talk to eddie

Richie; u do that. tell the little man i said hey;)

Stan; u know. u could very much tell "the little man" urself

Richie; yeah, i do. but its more fun this way.

Stan; ok. 

a/n hoes, ur girl has got a serious problem. the guy i like is coming to my house and im scared bc like im very self-conscious and I'm nervous as heck and vine isnt helping. and VINE ALMOST ALWAYS WORKS! ahhhh!!

'this relationship is going really good steve. *pans to snail* can i hold ur hand? *crushes snail w hand* nO! how am i supposed to find another gay snail?'

'to make a long fucking story short. I put a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass' 

' i spilled lipstick in ur Valentino bag' 'wh-wh-wha- lipstick in my Valentino white bag?'

'got diagnosed with cool guy symptoms yesterday. so now i take AdDerAlL'

'road work ahead? uh, yeah, i sure hope it does'

'hey. *chews food* i want to be famous'

'would u like to buy a vacuume?' 'is vacuume code for drugs or something?' 'no.' 'then noo.'

'she is a bitch. a B-I-C-T-H'

'how much money do u have?' '69 cents' 'uhp u know what that means' 'i dont have enough money for chicken nuggets'

'u were in the bathroom a long time' 'yeah i was taking a shit' 'oh well did u flush?' 'uh yeah.' 'WE ARE IN A DROUGHT YOU ASSHOLE'

'everyone dies. you either kill urself or get killed. whatchu gonna do'

'well son it appears ur cancer-'  'woah i have cancer?' 'woah i interrupt people? yes.'

and many more those vines usually keeps me going. but right now im just like "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH''