BEN DROWNED X Reader

CH. 32

Cally's P.O.V.

I snuggled up in my blankets and stared at the blood-red wall. I could play it cool all I wanted to, but the thought still circled my brain, my thoughts, my conscious. I had to kill someone. I don't want to do it. I don't want to. I couldn't stand it. No matter how many times I tried to shake my head away from these feelings, literally and figuratively, they just wouldn't go away. The burning inside. It stings. In my brain, in my heart, in my jaw, in my eyes, in my nose. I broke down. I clutched the corner of the bed with one hand and my hair with the other and tears started forming a stream down each of my cheeks, dousing my pillow, rendering it useless for a while.

With every sob I let out, with every gasp for air I clutched on to, I could feel myself curling up into a ball and gripping my hair much more harshly. I released my grip on the mattress, but only to grab for my mouth. I was making too much noise, I'd wake everyone up.. What good would that do? I was a mess... They'd all be concerned, when they shouldn't be, it's none of those bastards damn concern..

'Is it?' I wondered. 'They're the only people left for us..'

And I started crying harder. And harder. And harder..

My sadness switched to surprise when I heard the bedroom door open.

'Oh god.. Did I wake someone up?'

I heard heavy footsteps closing in on the bed. Footsteps that I could easily identify.

"There you are," Kai said quietly. "I've been looking around."

My breath hitched and my hand stiffened around my mouth. If I try to speak, it'll be very evident that I've been crying. But if I don't speak at all, that'll also be cause for suspicion because he knows I'm awake.. That's it! Hand gestures.

I shrugged my shoulders and adjusted my body to look more like I was relaxing, seeing if he might buy into it and leave me alone.

Without time for me to even move my leg I felt the bed cave in a little and a new weight was added right behind me. Then I felt a warm arm slither around my side, and another underneath my head.

"I thought you were gonna kick my ass.." He said as he lied his head down. "Why are you crying like this?"

His soft voice sounded genuine enough to even make me concerned. I couldn't help myself, everything I tried to contain and hide from him snowballed and eventually made its way back out.

"I-I just, I just c-" I explained through heavy tearful sniffles. "I don't th-th-..think I can do it, Kai"

I moved my hand back over to cover my mouth and I gripped my hair once again. I guess it's just become habit.. Stressful situations make people crazy, I suppose.

Kai moved his arm from my side and up to the hand that had my hair by the handful and gently took hold. As he lowered back down to my side, his grip around me tightened. That was all I needed. A sense of security.. My muscles eased up, but my mind was still just as confused and scared as before. I couldn't stop the tears.

"We'll work something out, Cally." He said into my hair. He spoke calmly as he whispered "I promise." into my ear.

I held on to his hand tighter than I ever thought I could have and cracked a weak smile.

"Shut up and let me injure you." I laughed. Though my back was turned, I could feel his smile from behind me as he heartily chuckled.

I lifted my head and my leg and playfully kicked him in the thigh before peacefully resting my head back on to his arm. Any time after that was just simply bliss. Lying there in silent bliss, with Kai. I dozed off here and there, but I was able to claim victory by being the last to remain awake. I trust him, and I trust that he'll help me in any way he can.. I tried my hardest, but eventually I gave in and was sunken into a deep, dark sleep.

BEN's P.O.V.

"I don't see an issue with the idea, Cally was right!" I nearly shouted. "She has no issue getting it done A.S.A.P.!"

"It's going by too quick, BEN!" Danny politely informed.

(Y/n) stomped up from her bed and started pacing around the room while she listened to me ramble aimlessly about being correct on this one. But it truth, she wasn't listening to one bit of it.

"You don't want to do it, I know this (Y/n), but please understand how it might be easier afterward."

"EASIER?!" She said all but quietly. "You might be used to just strolling on out and killing someone without remorse, but Cal and I can't cope with it as easily as you guys. 'Please try and understand' that."

I sat criss-cross on her bed and nodded my head as I hung on to every word she said. But it was like that made her even angrier, 'cause now she's approaching me with an even more agitated look.

"Are you even agreeing or are you just trying to end the argument?"

My eyes widened as I said "What the?- I'm listening to you, isn't that what you wanted?"
But I rolled my eyes and started rubbing the back of my neck.

"Y'know what, forget about it-" I was cut off by a plop on the bed beside me.

"Look, I'm sorry, BEN. I don't mean to be like this with you." She said burying her face in her lap. "I don't know what to think anymore.."

I looked down at her crumpled body and rested my elbows on my knees as I sighed. I understood perfectly what she meant. She wasn't prepared to be thrown into a lions den. But when push comes to shove, you do what you have to do to survive.. That's what this life is about..

I outstretched my arm to put over her, for reassurance, but she swatted my arm away using her elbow. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused, and tried again but she denied my attempt by swatting at it again followed with an irritated "Please, not now!" and a deep sigh. I sat up, but something didn't feel right. Something within me ticked. I felt this burning rage, but also this burning... passion. My head snapped back to look at her, but my body remained the same. Facing toward her bedroom door. I felt my face heat up, my hands clench shut, and my body move on its own back toward her.

I grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her backward on the bed and placed my right knee next to her hips so I was hovering right above her and I leaned in close, closer than I ever thought I would get to her face. Her eyes, they widened in shock as I started deeply into her (e/c) orbs. I leaned in close and planted the longest, roughest kiss I could have ever only dreamed of on her soft, gentle lips.

I detached myself from her just long enough to make sure I could get my point across to her.

"I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BE HERE FOR YOU."