Plus Size with Extra Love [E.G.D]

Chapter Twelve

*CAUTION Sensitive material ahead*

My eyes watered before I could even process what Ethan said. It wasn't unexpected but I wasn't expecting it either.

My room was now empty. He walked out and gently closed the door behind him.

I just don't understand. He opened up to me only to forget about me the same day. What have I done to deserve this? Why can't things go good for me once?

My body shook as I walked into the bathroom to start the shower. I turned the water on making sure it was really hot, as if to punish myself for being so stupid.

You're just a loser

I know

Just a dumb pathetic fat girl

I know

No ones ever going to want you

I know

Just give up already

I want to

My mind raced as I stared at the razor, contemplating on taking it apart.

No one would miss you

I know

I reached for the shaver and slowly took it apart. It's been awhile since I've felt the addictive sting of a blade.

People judge those who do this because they find them weak and selfish, but in reality those who put the person down are the weak and selfish. They have made a place for that person to feel like the blade is their only friend.

I held the small metal piece in my hand and placed it against my skin. Slowly I moved the razor against my arm drawing blood quickly.

I sucked in a short breath as I continued to move the blade to different parts and trace it into my skin.

"D, hurry up Gray and I are hungry!" Jarred said as he pounded on the bathroom door.

Another fail

I quickly washed my hair and then stepped out of the shower. My arm was still bleeding so I opened the cabinet and grabbed some gauze. I sloppily wrapped my arm and threw my leggings and hoodie back on. I slid on some socks, pulled my shoes on, and walked down stairs.

Grayson and Jarred walked out to the car and I followed far behind with my head down.

I felt guilty. I shouldn't have done that, but it felt so right.

You even failed at that

I know I did

"Where's Ethan?" I asked as we drove down the road.

"Home, said he wasn't feeling well," Grayson answered.

My attention went to Grays hand seeing his knuckles were cut up and bruised.

"What's wrong with your hands?"

"I got a little pissed off at that asshole earlier and kinda went crazy," Grayson responded sighing at the end.

"I told him not to," Jarred grumbled and pulled into the parking lot.

"If you weren't going to, than I was. Dude I don't understand you, had that happened to my sister I'd be busting everyone's ass."