Plus Size with Extra Love [E.G.D]

Chapter Twenty-Three

At this point I turned around to face Ethan. I felt as if my heart was being ripped from my chest. The tears slowly slid down my rosy cheeks as my eyes stared into his.

"Please don't say that," Ethan pleaded.

Wow he almost sounds genuine

"Please I'll change."

My head shook side to side telling him 'no'. I want him to change. I want us to officially be together, but no one changes that much. We both only bring each other pain.

"Baby," Ethan sighed as he walked closer to me.

"Don't call me that," I cried.

Of course the first time a guy calls me that to my face it's so I don't leave him. The pain in Ethan's eyes is killing me. I feel guilty about hurting him.

You're not hurting him he doesn't even like you

"You know how much I care about you D. Why are you throwing it all away?"

"I'm not throwing it away Ethan, you are. You are putting Abby, Jarred, school, everything above us. For once I want it to be Ethan and Dakota against the world, not Ethan and the world against Dakota."

Ethan wrapped his arms around my large frame pulling me into him. His chest shook as he cried along with me.

Why is he even crying

"I don't want this to be goodbye," I cried while holding onto his shirt.

"It doesn't have to be. You don't want this to end."

"What's 'this' Ethan? The pain? The tears? The depression? When's it going to stop E?"

"Never because that's what relationships come with. We're going to fight that's a given, but we'll get passed it eventually."

"Neither of us can mentally handle this relationship," I spoke softly trying to regain my ground.

The vulnerable state Ethan was in was making me break. The way his lips began to swell due to him crying and biting at them. His cheeks turned red and his eyes glassed over.

"You know what, if you want to be done, then fine. You meant nothing to me anyways," Ethan barked starring into my eyes. His chest heaved and his nose flared.

"I know," I replied and walked passed him back to Grayson's room.

"So that's it huh?" Ethan asked as he followed me to his brothers door.

"Sadly," I answered and opened Grayson's door and closed it behind me.

I rested my weight against the door as I slid down to the floor. The tears fell silently along my cheeks as I pictured the conversation Ethan and I just shared. My tears pooled at the corner of my mouth as my body shook.

"What movie did you, holy shit D what's wrong?" Grayson asked concerned.

The words I tried to speak stayed caught in my throat. I closed my eyes trying to calm myself down.

You knew this was going to happen

He was too good for you

Ethan is perfect

You're trash

"Dakota talk to me," Grayson pleaded while he sat in the ground next to me. His muscular arm wrapped around me pulling me close to him.

"We're done," I whispered after about five minutes of silence.

"What happened?"

"He never really cared about me," I mumbled and stood from the spot on the floor.

My body ached and my brain kept spinning. My heart was pounding as I laid down on Grayson's bed and pulled my knees to my chest. No matter where I was, who I was with, I still felt the heartbreak from Ethan.

"Maybe it's for the best, just get some time away from each other, if you guys really like each other then there's nothing to worry about."

Grayson made his way towards me. He seemed lost for words. I guess I'd be too if I found out my jock brother was messing around with a girl who looked like she swallowed the whole buffet.

"Can you take me home?"

"Of course," Grayson responded and helped me off the bed.

Usually in these situations I feel completely numb and useless, right now I feel heart broke. I feel as if my heart was stabbed and tore from my chest. It hurt to breath, but I wasn't having a panic attack.

Imagine the only person you felt comfortable with, the only person who knows how bad your mental health is, the only person who even bothered to check up on you, has left you.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Grayson quizzed as we drove down the old roads.

"In all honesty yes, but you wouldn't understand."

"Try me," Grayson quickly replied while taking his eyes off the road for a second to look at me.

"Ethan and I, Well, you see."

"Go on," he laughed.

"From the moment we met each other we kind of clicked. I knew I could trust him and him me. We told each other so much. He told me about him being put in the hospital due to his mental health and he knew about my depression and how serious it was. We would watch zombie movies and it got to the point I only watched them because I knew he'd be at my side. He was always there for me even when we were fighting. We were way to good to be true."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling at our memories. I thought of the times we would cuddle up in my bed watching movies we'd seen a thousand times and yet still couldn't tell you what happened in the end. I thought of the time we were fighting and I was a mess, but he refused to leave until someone else was home so he knew I was going to be safe. I thought of the many times we kissed each other and about the time he took me to the diner. All those memories, now went to waste. All those laughs and giggles, gone.

"Why didn't you guys ever tell me? Had I known how serious this was I would have helped you guys through it," Grayson sympathized.

"He was embarrassed of me, that's why it didn't work. He built up the jock image that he always wanted but couldn't ever get till now. I didn't want to ruin that and he didn't want me to ruin it either."

"You're telling me, my brother, the one who got bullied a large chunk of his life, is embarrassed to be with you? I'm beating the shit out of him when I get home."

"Grayson I know you're mad and I'm not too thrilled about the whole thing either, but it's over now," I calmly said.

"That doesn't make up for what he did Dakota."

All I could do was shake my head. I knew he was right, but we can't change the past, if I could I would.

"Can I be honest with you?" Grayson asked as he pulled up in front of my house and put the truck in park. I nodded my head and turned towards him.

"You chose the wrong twin," my heart stopped, "I'm not saying I have a crush on you, but had you met me first and fell in love with me, I wouldn't have been scared to call you mine. I'd love you so much better than Ethan ever could."