Plus Size with Extra Love [E.G.D]

Chapter Seventeen

When I woke up the next morning, the side next to me was empty. His scent captured my pillows and blankets. The sheet was still warm, but he was no where to be seen.

"Of course," I muttered and rolled out of bed.

Was he really sorry? Did he even mean what he was saying?

The door opened slowly and caught my attention as I threw my hair into a messy bun. In walked Ethan. A pair of basketball shorts hung on his hips. A towel was laying on his shoulders.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he said stopping in his tracks once his eyes landed on me.

"You didn't."

"I made you some breakfast."

"I typically don't eat in the morning," I responded looking into his eyes.

"You need to. It's healthier."

"Don't try to do this," I whispered and hung my head down.

"Whether you want to listen to me or not, I do care about you," he explained.

No he doesn't

"If you did, you wouldn't put me through everything," I sighed out while shaking my head.

My face was emotionless but my words were filled with pain. My heart hurt as I continued to voice how I felt and thought. Jeremy never let me do this.

"Ever heard the saying 'we hurt the ones we care about'?"

"So Jeremy cares about me?" I snapped looking Ethan dead in the eyes. "Every time he be littled me, called me names, humiliated me, hit me, it was all because he cared!"

He stood there shocked. He hung his head in shame. Ethan's hands began shaking slightly as he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. He looked broken.

I wanted to forgive him. Hug him, kiss him, let him know it's okay to let him hurt me, let him know I wanted to try. But I can't. I don't want a bad relationship again.

"Don't compare me to him. I'm nothing like him," he whimpered trying to stay strong but failing. "I'd never hit you or beat you. I'd never call you those sick names he did. I'd never hurt you like that."

I know Ethan wouldn't do those things, but the real difference between him and Jeremy is that I actually care about him. I never worried about where Jeremy was or what he was doing. I never wanted him with me. Ethan has more control over me emotionally than Jeremy ever had physically.

"I'm gonna go."

My heart sunk

Stop him

Don't let him leave stupid

Apologize

"Okay," I responded.

I watched as he pulled on his shirt and grabbed his socks and shoes. His eyes were a light shade of red as he fought back his tears.

I wanted to stop him. I wanted to tell him he could stay and I'd make everything better. But I knew it wouldn't work out the way I wanted it. Guys like him don't go for girls like me.

"I'm really sorry," Ethan said as he walked out of my bedroom door and made his way downstairs.

Dumbass go after him

I stood there frozen as he pulled away from my house in his vehicle.

The walk down the steps to the kitchen felt so strange. The smell of pancakes filled my nose as I got closer. A cup of orange juice, two blueberry pancakes, the bottle of syrup, and the tub of butter sat on the counter waiting for me.  Next to the plate was a note.

Dakota,

I know what I've done makes me a huge asshole and I'm sorry. I never mean to hurt those around me I just do. Making you breakfast isn't going to solve any of the problems I've caused for you, but it's a start. I'm sorry for putting you in a position where Jeremy hit you. I'm sorry for kissing you then running out after those harsh words I yelled. I'm sorry for ever yelling at you or making you feel bad about who you are. Yes you're different than most people at school, but I don't really care. You're a caring person who wants others to be happy before you, but I want you to be happy instead of me. I'm not embarrassed of being seen talking to you, I just wanted to protect you. Like I've said, this doesn't erase what I've done, and if you don't forgive me fine, but just know I do care for you.
    
                                          Xx Ethan

The emotional roller coaster I was on as I read the small note made me feel sick. I just let him walk out of my house without even listening to him.

I reached for my phone, that I had laid on the counter and searched for his contact.

Me: can you meet me here in about two hours?

Ethan😊: I can be there in five minutes...

My heart raced as I paced back and forth waiting on Ethan to show up. I had no clue what to say to him. How was I going to start it? Was I going to tell him how I felt? How is he going to react to all this?

"Dakota?" Ethan asked panic in his voice as he walked into the house without knocking.

"Look I'm," but he didn't let me finish.

"Don't say sorry, you have a right to be mad at me."

"I never gave you a chance to talk. I just got mad because I'm self conscious. Ethan I like you more than I ever liked Jeremy. Dealing with you ignoring me is worse than anything Jeremy ever did to me. When you kissed me, I don't know what happened, but I liked it and I don't want you to walk away from me." My words were shaking and I tripped over some of my words, but I made myself heard.

"You actually like me?"

That was his reaction. No apology, no thank you, just that.

He's disgusted

A scoff left my lips as his face held a shocked expression.

"Wait that wasn't right. I just meant like, I thought you hated everything about me because of me being an ass."

"Did you not listen to anything I just said to you?" I questioned taking steps towards him.

"I did, but I'm a little shocked," he whispered as I stood an inch away.

I don't know if it was my conscience telling me to or the devil,but my arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him down to me so my lips could be crushed against his again.

Ethan's hands went straight down to my waist holding me in place as my lips moved against his sloppily. The way his lips were so soft and tasted of berrys. His sent filled my nose as I took a quick breath.

My hands tugged on his curly untamed hair, trying to pull him closer. A deep quiet groan left his lips, and I pulled back a bit startled.

Our chests fell up and down quickly trying to comprehend what just happened. Where did my confidence come from?

He's changing you

"Where did you learn that?" Ethan asked with a large smile on his oh so perfect lips.

"You I guess," I laughed as I sat on the couch and turned on a movie.

Ethan sat next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder moving me closer. My head rested on his shoulder as we watched the movie in silence.