Hello, welcome back! For this oneshot, I am collabbing with @annas_deupi. We each write a sentence and try to flow with what the other wrote before. Hope you enjoy this, and comment if we should do this more often!
Conman
Jared hummed along to Coldplay as he stood on his toes to grab the flour from up in the cabinets. He yelled loudly as he suddenly tripped, his hands knocking paprika and other spices everywhere as he fell down. He sighed in relief - his husband wasn't home to witness his clumsiness. If Connor saw him like this, he would never let him live it down. Jared cleaned up the mess - and by that the scooped it all up and just threw it in a bowl.
His ears perked up at the sound of the doorbell, thinking it was Connor - only to be disappointed with the (rather good-looking) mailman. Jared thanked the man with a flirtatious remark (it was how they usually greeted each other - nothing new there) and closed the door, setting the package on the kitchen counter. He grinned to himself, fully aware of the contents of the package, and hoping Connor would like the early anniversary gift. Forgetting the present, Jared went back to the ingredients poured in the blue bowl.
Just then, Connor arrived home (for real this time) and Jared hurriedly threw the bowl in the oven, not paying attention to the mess in the kitchen - even though he'd tried to clean it up, paprika was still everywhere.
"What's going on in here?" Connor asked, setting down his bag and making his way over to Jared to give him a longing and delightful kiss. "Eugh," Connor said, grimacing, "Jared, why do you taste like paprika?"
"I don't want to talk about it." Jared pouted, setting his hands on Connor's hips and laying his head on his chest.
Connor pushed him away. "Nope. Not until you shower - no way am I getting anywhere near you when you're still covered in that goddamn paprika." (Jared, in cleaning up the paprika, had not only managed to get it everywhere, but had also managed to cover himself in it).
"No thank you," Jared responded. "Getting covered in the goddamn paprika is the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"Not even if I join you?" Connor wheedled.
Jared opened his mouth to respond, but got a towel thrown at him. He reluctantly grabbed the towel before it fell from the floor. "Fiiine," he whined.
He stepped into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Connor heard the sound of running water. A moment later, Jared poked his head out, steam pouring into the room. "You coming?" he asked.
Connor turned a bit red,but nodded. He went in the bathroom and closed the door, licking his lips as he took off his clothes, soon naked. Jared stripped as well and they both hopped in the hot shower (hot for many reasons Am I rIgHt).
PA: The collab partner has declined to participate in writing this scene.
PA: So does the actual author.
PA:The collab partner wishes to remind the author that she is the one who caused this scene.
PA:The author hopes that the collab partner would know that she never wished to actually do the scene, just to have them going in and then time skipping.
PA: The collab partner wishes to remind the author of her responsibilities as an author towards the audience.
PA: The author hopes that the collab partner would know that she knows damn well her responsibilities and by that she was not going to and didn't provide the part. For god sakes she doesn't even write smut.
PA: The collab partner wishes to inform the author that she is a thot.
PA: ;(
*several pointless arguments later*
As Connor wrapped a towel around himself, he glanced Jared, who was already covered by his said towel, his hair dripping wet. They both walked into the room, pulling on clean and comfortable clothing, just in time for dinner. Or so they hoped.
As soon as the boys stepped foot out of the bathroom, they smelled something that seemed to be burning, and smoke coming from the kitchen. The fire alarm suddenly blared out, the heat intensifying as smoke began to spread rapidly. They could now both see the warm glow of flames on the opposite end of the room.
"JARED! YOU TURNED ON THE OVEN?!" Connor yelled, coughing as he dove to the oven.
"I'M SORRY, I FORGOT!" Jared teared up, beginning to cough as well.
"JUST GO OUTSIDE, DON'T STAY IN THE SMOKE!"
Jared started towards the door, feeling like he'd forgotten something. Something important. Oh.
"Connor!" he called, running back and grabbing the idiot (he was still trying to turn off the oven - despite the actual fucking flames everywhere) by the arm, dragging him outside.
Connor coughed violently once as he got outside, being so close to the start of the fire. Jared took matters into his own hands as he called the fire department and told them to please stop their house from being burned down.
Rumor has it, to this day if you listen closely enough, you can still hear Connor bitching to Jared about the goddamn paprika.
And that's an average afternoon for the Murphy-Kleinman's.
YOU ARE READING
Oneshots
FanfictionOneshots are lit so I asked myself, "WhY nOt" Ships: •Conman (my OTP) •Kleinsen •Treebros •Sincerely Three •Jalana •Zolana (Writing Gay oneshots [the majority of this book] is weird, especially since I'm straight. No smut!)
