***FRIDAY, 25th APRIL***
Nathan's P.O.V~
It had been six long, painful and agonising weeks since Amelia's death. Surprisingly, a fair amount of events happened in those five weeks. I had tweeted a picture of Alexis so the fans could see her and if it wasn't for the absence of Amelia, I would've smiled at their cute tweets. But then I had to tweet and inform them of Amelia which only made me cry more. They tweeted things about how amazing she was and how they were going to miss her. They even got #RIPAmeliaJones trending world wide for two days. I really didn't know what I'd done to deserve such amazing fans like the TWfanmily. Obviously news reporters and such saw my tweets and crowded around my house hoping for me to come out so they could interview me. It was pathetic and really made me wonder if they had even an ounce of respect for others. I may have been a 'celebrity' but I'm only human, and I still have feelings.
The boys and I had to have several meetings with management over tour re-arrangements, to which they said 'The tour will continue once Nathan feels he is fit to return to work and continue touring' and to be honest, that wasn't going to be any time soon, perhaps never. I didn't feel like I could ever get over this. Then there was becoming accustomed to raising a child by myself, while slowly, day by day, feeling more and more depressed. The days seemed to get longer. More painful. More hard work. And more like they weren't worth living anymore.
Then there was the funeral.
The funeral was held on the Wednesday, the 2nd April and it was 'eventful' should I say. It was held in Gloucester and a lot of people turned up. There must've been at least 300 people there. I obviously spoke at the funeral. Well, attempted to speak at the funeral. Merely a sentence into what I had to say. I broke down. I succumbed to my tears, unable to form a coherent sentence as I sat on the floor, violently shaking, The boys had to escort me out to let me compose myself, but that failed. Then as we arrived at the cemetery, we walked past Amelia's Mother's grave which only reminded me about that day when we had sex at my Mum's house. As bad as that day was, if it wasn't for that day, I wouldn't have been blessed with my beautiful Alexis.
The memory only made me cry harder and Jay helped me walk the rest of the way to where Amelia was to be buried. I had arranged it so that she was as close to her Mother's grave as possible because I knew that's what she would've wanted. The day only proceeded to cause me more grief and heart-wrenching pain as they lowered my beautiful, alluring, elegant angel into the ground. I couldn't help but scream out as she was lowered further down the dark, lonely hole which was dug for her coffin. The boys, again, had to hold me back and my own Mother approached me, taking me into her arms as I cried uncontrollably into her shoulder as she tightened her warm embrace around me. Mum took Alexis for me that night, as I spent the night, home alone, in mine and Amelia's bed, cuddled to one of my shirts which she once wore, which smelt like her, as I cried myself to sleep.
And that brought us to another lonely Friday in my house. It was my 21st birthday the week before and I hadn't bothered to celebrate it. What was there to celebrate? Getting older on my own? No thanks. I hadn't left since Amelia's funeral. I hadn't eaten properly and let's just say, I'd been cleaner in my lifetime. My Mother came at least twice a week to check on me and to take Alexis. She was the only person I let in. She currently had Alexis at her house. I had ignored everyone. The boys. The fans. Jess. Literally everyone. I just sat in my living room in silence. I had stopped watching T.V after constantly seeing stories about Amelia on every single fucking channel. The paparazzi showed up every few days to see if I'd left my house but they got nothing. My phone memory was full of unread texts and voice mails. No one could get to me.
The depression had kicked in a few weeks ago. I thought that if I spent more time with Alexis it would give me a reason to be happy and not feel this way. But this only increased my depression as she reminded me of Amelia and all the things Amelia would miss and just thinking about it made my heart hurt. They say that time heals but over time. I just felt worse. I needed someway out. Anything to end the emptiness. The heart-ache. The grief.
YOU ARE READING
Don't You Remember? (Nathan Sykes Fan Fic)
Fanfiction"Amelia, you're awake!" He yelled. You could hear the excitement in his voice. Within seconds his arms were wrapped around me. I felt so safe and I didn't want to move but I had to. I placed my hands on his chest and gently pushed him away. He gave...
