The Star and The Fangirl - A JenLisa fanfic

Chapter 18 - "I really want this!"

"Oh... I thought you were going to drive me to my place?" Lisa just now realized that they were parked in front of Jisoo's building.

"I thought that since we've haven't seen each other these days that it would be okay for you to sleep at my place tonight." Jisoo responded calmly.

"Oh... Okay." Lisa was confused, but wanted to continue to talk about their relationship but was cut off by Jisoo:

"Do you want me to drive you home?"

"What? No! It's fine, it's actually great that you want me to sleep at your place. It means you still like my presence." Lisa spoke calmly.

"Of course I do! Aish Lisa...! You're so insecure sometimes." Jisoo grumbled while Lisa swallowed her pride once again and started to talk about their relationship.

"See... This is the thing. Ever since you got the new job, you've been acting differently. I know that new experiences always change you a bit and give you some new energy into your life but-"

"But what?" Jisoo cut her off angrily.

"This, Jisoo, this! You were never this mad at me. You always hiss and grumble and complain. Half of the time I can't even finish my sentence. I tell you that I love you and I miss you and you barely say that you miss me back. Not to mention the "loving" part."

"Lisa, I can't believe this. You're so needy for attention and you always want me to tell you that I love you and that you're the best. You always need encouragement for things in your life. And I'm tired of it."

"Jisoo... Agh! This is so infuriating. But okay, let me start from the beginning." Lisa grumbled and continued:

"When we started this relationship, you were the one who always said that I never talk about my feelings. You were the one that encouraged me to tell you that I love you as much as possible. Do you remember that? Do you remember when you were the one who always needed to be told that you were loved by me?" Lisa said those last words calmly.

"Yes." Jisoo was getting annoyed.

"And I did. At first I thought that it was weird to show that much love and praise to someone, but then you showed me that giving praise to your loved one is a healthy thing. You showed me that giving love is good. You drilled this into my brain with your smiles and your hugs and your kisses and by generally being the best person I've ever encountered in my life." Lisa's eyes were getting wet but she wasn't crying yet. Jisoo sat there in silence.

"You were amazing. You made me feel amazing. And you got me used to your love. Without your praises and kisses and you telling me that you love me... I felt incomplete. I know that might not sound healthy, but that's how I felt. That's how I feel now. Incomplete. Because you were the one who taught me that THIS is the way love is supposed to be." Lisa stated and then went silent. Jisoo was silent as well. Then Lisa spoke again:

"If you really felt like I was asking too much and that we should change our dynamic, you should have told me. You should have told me: "Hey Lisa, I know we were like this at the beginning of our relationship, but I think it's time we change that." You should have told me just like that, and not by... you know... acting the way you did. Because I can change. I will adapt for you. For us."

"I don't want you to change because I told you that you should do something. I want you to change because you should want to change." Jisoo spoke.

"I don't want to change. I mean... It's complicated." Lisa stared at her fingers and tried not to cry while still feeling her eyes getting wet. Jisoo's eyes were starting to wet too and they looked at each other.