Back To You (Sequel Of The Feeling) ➳ SaTzu

Chapter 42

-SANA-

When did I know I have Leukemia? It was when Tzuyu went to film her movie and left me at the dorm. I was taking shower and I noticed that they were light bruises all over my body, and I didn't know why. I suddenly felt really dizzy at the bathroom that's why I quickly wore my clothes and decided to go out to buy something to make me feel better. I couldn't focus on anything. My head was swirling and the medicine that I took surely didn't help. Few moments passed by, my vision became so blurry and the last time I saw was the girl at the store who rushed me at the hospital. I thanked her a lot and told her to stay quiet from what she witnessed at the store. After staying at at the hospital for a long time, I was diagnosed with Leukemia. I truly don't know what to feel when I heard the word "Leukemia" but one thing entered my mind and it was "Death"

I was about to say that I have that serious disease to Tzuyu but she was so busy with her work so I ended up locking away the secret to myself. It was hard for me to say it to anyone because I realized that I might die because of it but then Eunha came. I said everything to Eunha without any burden and I felt relieved when I did that. It's really hard to accept that I have a serious disease, and it's hard to say it especially to Tzuyu.

I want to walk away, I want to leave Tzuyu because I know how much it hurts when you see the person you love leaves this world. I know how much she suffered before and now I'm here again, another burden in her life.

I know how much she loves me and it breaks my heart to see her cry. Those days that I'm really afraid to tell the truth to Tzuyu and I really thought I fell inlove with Eunha because she's always there for me. I made myself comfortable with her presence and it's totally wrong but I accepted it anyway. I accepted that I will die soon and it'll be easier for Tzuyu to move on when I leave her like that.

Time passes by, I really can't handle it. I miss Tzuyu so much and I just want to be with her, hug her for the rest of my life. I thought she will never accept my apology but now she's here, she's here to suffer with me. I badly want to cry again because I feel so lucky to have her on my side but It'll make her worry more when she sees me cry.

I accepted before that I will die soon just like my grandma but seeing Tzuyu here with me, I will fight for this disease because this is just a disease.

"What are you thinking?" Tzuyu asked as she kissed my hand.

"I'm thinking about a lot of things" I said and she sat beside my bed, groping my waist as she bury her chin on my shoulder.

"What do you want to do, babygirl?" She asked that made me think what do.

"I want to travel the world with you" I replied. Even though it's impossible for me to go out just like a normal person. I hate this disease.

"Tzuyu, I wrote a bucket list in the house. Can we do everything that was written there?" I asked as I look at her and her eyebrows furrowed. She breathed heavily causing for me to cupped her face.

"What's wrong?"

"We can do everything what you wrote after your treatment. We will do that when you're finally fine" she said, still breathing heavily.

"But I want to do that while I still can" I said and she moved away a little bit.

"No" She exclaimed. She looks really mad right now. I don't know why I feel so emotional and I suddenly want to cry when she acted like that.

"I'm sorry, I'm just really worried. Sorry" She said and she quickly hugged me. This warm feeling, I feel safe, I feel home.

"I don't want to do what you wrote right now because it feels like you will leave me after that" She said and I started rubbing her back.

"No, Tzuyu. I'll stay with you forever"

"I know and I hope your body cooperates with you" she said before she broke the hug and held my shoulders.

"We will go to America or Australia. They have better technologies to treat you" She said, looking at my eyes intently.

"I will ask someone to fix our visa as soon as possible so we can finally start your chemo"

"Use my money, Tzuyu" I said but she shook her head.

"We will use our money together. We will help each other, okay?" She declared and I nodded my head.

"I will still marry you soon" she said before claiming my lips.