Stay With Me || Lashton ||

46

Luke's POV

June 15th

It's a disgusting feeling to know that in a matter of days your world will be changing. Like you are sitting here doing your best to accept it when you just can't. An unbearable strangulation on your heart grips onto your heart but there is nothing to do but try not to let it kill you. I've been helping Ashton pack all day and it's getting harder to control my emotions. We picked and fought with each other all day so I decided it was in my best interest to come home and try to soothe myself.

So far not so good. By the smell of our house my mom was cooking dinner but food is the last thing I wanted right now. I wanted Ashton to stay with me and not go to Australia. I mean for heavens sake it's on the other side of the world! The timezone difference could crush us like a bug and then everything could be over between us. I suppose that part of this strangled feeling I feel is fear for what could happen between us.

I'm doing my best to calm myself by staring at my blank ceiling but even the white emptiness wasn't helping me along. Calum had texted me a couple of times but after the first message I got too lazy to respond. I'm sure he'd be irritated with me but today I really didn't care much. In five days my world would be moving across the world and there was nothing I could do about it.

What I needed now was a distraction. With a deep sigh I pushed myself up from my bed and headed for my desk. Old papers from school, notebooks full of lyrics and some empty notebooks were scattered across the wooden desktop. My hands started to shake when I grabbed up the notebooks and like a dam breaking I felt all my emotions flood to me at once. Tears streamed down my cheeks with my chest rising and falling rapidly. For some reason when I'd have a panic attack I'd always cover my mouth in attempt to silence the sobs but it never really helped. My body was shaking with sobs as I dropped to my knees in a heap on my floor.

"What am I gonna do?" I sobbed to myself and started to breath even faster. I hated when I had panic attacks but right now my world was falling down around me. I squeezed my eyes shot and I tugged my legs up to my chest wrapping my arms around myself.

If I could just go somewhere else in my mind I'd be okay for a little while.

"Luke? Oh damn it." I heard Calum's voice then felt him drop down to his knees beside me. Still heaving I latched on to my best friend as he practically pulled me into his lap for comfort. He rocked us both back and forth in an attempt to calm my sobs but it wasn't working.

"Luke, can you tell me what's wrong?" Calum asked his usual question and I shook my head no. Calum understood and continued to rub my back slowly. Within seconds Calum's soothing voice sang to me like it's done so many times before. I've lost track of how many times Calum has held me while I sobbed like this along with how many times he soothed me with his singing.

"A-Ashton's leaving." I sniffled once the sobs stopped flooding me.

"I know. That's why when you didn't answer my texts I came right over." Calum said as his hand stroked my messy hair.

"I'm going to be like half a person without him Cal I don't know what I'm going to do." I whimpered and looked up to see Calum's face fall.

"I know Luke." He admitted and I slumped even further into his arms.

"Distance can crush relationships." I said quietly.

"But it can work Luke." Calum said sternly and I nodded even though I didn't agree.

"Thank you Cal, for always being here." I whispered and felt Calum's grip tighten on my shoulders.

"I'm always here for you, you know that right?" He asked and I nodded slowly. Of course I knew that he had proved it time and time again. "Come on, let's go watch Mean Girls to cheer you up." Calum smiled and I did my best to smile back.