Twenty-Three - Lynne

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I watched as Bella sat on the steps, playing with the ribbon tied around her fingers. I fucked up, I knew I did. I didn't mean to spit it out, if we're being honest. It was a spur of the moment - my heart was hurting so badly that the only girl I loved besides Lisa had told me to my face that she hated me and I tried to deliberately hurt her when in reality, I'd take a bullet for that little girl just so she'd be able to breathe.

It hurt so fucking badly to sit there and watch her say those things to me, say that I was a terrible sister, and say that I didn't love her. That was the problem, I loved her more than I loved breathing. I'd die for that kid, but she'd think I'd let her eat a bullet before she found that out.

I was about to get up and talk to her, before Jinxx appeared from the other side. I leaned against the hallway, excluding myself from view as I watched him sigh and sit down next to her.

Her eyes lit up as she looked to him, and then it fell as she looked back down to the ground.

"How's it going, kid?" He asked, eyebrow raised, "What? You thought it was someone else?" He asked.

"I thought you were Lynne," she admitted with a mumble.

"You want me to get her for you? I think she gets off work in like ten." He said with a generous smile. Bella shook her head.

"No," she finally spoke, "she doesn't wanna see me anyway. She hates me, she said it herself."

Jinxx looked baffled, "She hates you? What gave you that impression?" He asked, glancing down to her.

She looked up to him with teary eyes, "Just forget it," she muttered.

"No, tell me. I wanna know," he said seriously, his face stern.

Bella sighed, "I was talking to her about Laurel and she said I should've died instead of mom. She said she didn't love me, that she only loved her."

My heart broke at that comment, a small tear escaping my eye. I couldn't help but feel my ribcage ache at the sensation of my beating heart burning in my chest.

Jinxx stayed quiet for a second, "I don't think she meant that." He said after a while, crossing his arms. "Of course she meant it. She said it so seriously. She never said that to me before, Jinxx. Never." Jinxx went silent yet again.

"Lynne loves you so much," he said.

Bella scoffed, "She's got a funny way of showin' it." She mumbled.

Jinxx shut his eyes, "Bella, she's come up to me talking about how much of a good kid you were. She's played hide and seek with you every week for ten years, and every time you guys hid behind the sofa. She even talked to me a few times, asking me to look around a little bit so you didn't think the spot was stupid. She cried in my arms when Laurel died, she cried for damn near six hours. She kept bawling, and bawling, saying it was her fault. That she was a bad sister and that you were gonna hate her. She even said that if she got the chance, she'd kill herself. She told me that, she said she wants me to be the guardian of you."

"Really?" She asked with disbelief.

Jinxx nodded, "I don't lie," he said. "She was just mad, but you haven't been that great to work with either. You know that right?"

"Of course," she said.

Jinxx smirked, hitting her in the shoulder, "I dunno kid, I'm just saying. That damn girl loves you so fucking much. Don't hold what she said to her. Actually, I'd say sorry if I was you. You have a good sister."

"I know. . ." She said after a second, "I'm a brat." I felt my lips twitching into a smile as Jinxx stood up.

"I gotta go to work, but you talk to me later, okay? Tell me how it goes."

"Alright," Bella said finally, standing up, "By the way, Jinxx. I love you."

Jinxx's face softened as a small smile graced his lips.

"You know something funny, Belles?" He asked, walking away. "I love you too." 

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