It's A Secret (A Hunter Hayes Fanfiction)

Chapter 23:

"Why?!"

"It had to be done, Govanne!"

"Don't you know he was expecting you guys to be okay, not for you to break up with him?"

I invited Govanne over while I kick and scream in the agony of being the cause of a break up with someone I love too much. I never even thought I could do such thing.

"He was fucking expecting you-Egan, how could you be the stupidest person on earth? You guys could've settled this."

"I'm tired of his promises, Govanne. If you're going to think about it, it's actually his fault."

"You know what, Egan? That's the most bullshit thing I've ever heard."

"It's over, Govanne! How could I possibly tell him that I take back what I said and tell him that that was unintentional and I was losing my head?"

"If you really want him back, you could definitely do that, Egan."

"It had been done, Govanne! What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

Hunter's POV:

"She wants me back?" I looked up on Govanne walking in circles on my living room.

"She does, and she actually regrets breaking up with you."

"God, that is the most stupidest thing I've ever heard!" I kicked the empty can of Pepsi on the floor and there was a small spill, something I really don't care about.

"I apologize in behalf of my best friend."

"You really should, because that's just plain dumb." I walked to the wall and punched it, my fist still crashed on the wood, she approached me.

"Hunter!" She softly took my wrist and removing it from the wall, I was breathing heavily and angrily and it felt as if my heart was about to pop. "Hunter, please."

"I can't lose her, but that's what she wants, right?"

"She didn't intend to-"

"No, Govanne. It has been done. I can't do anything about it anymore!"

"Sure you can."

Egan's POV:

I was having a long lasting migraine this time out of crying so hard. My chest physically hurting bad. It seems like I couldn't bare the pain anymore.

I dialed Mikayla's number and she immediately answered.

"I've heard. What happened? You're not speaking about anything!"

"He wouldn't let me speak about it. He just kept covering my mouth whenever I try to say or even hint something to you guys, or anyone. It was only held secret until the media came and crash it down like we wouldn't be affected by it. It's so fucked up, Mikayla. Fucked up."

"So what happened this time?"

"I broke up with him. I figured it won't work anymore since the things aren't going the way we previously planned it to be."

"With all honesty, don't get offended but that's just stupid as hell. I might be displeasing you with the words I'm spitting out, and I might be making you feel a little bad with everything I say, but that's just frankly plain stupid, Egan. If you really love him, you wouldn't end your relationship but instead just fight for it. Fight for everything. That's how it's done, Egan. And not with your dumb way."

I somehow felt a spear pierce through my heart that made me feel worse, but I understood her being really offensive since she was definitely speaking of something accurate. Also, that's what friends are for. She's doing this for my own good. Most people would take it in a bad way but my mother told me that she and her best friend are frank and brutal when it comes to honesty. They might not support each other on something but they sure as hell are still behind each other's back in the end, and that's what I wanted to develop. I'm actually glad I had it.

"I know, I know, but it had already been done, and I think I bullshitted him bad that he wouldn't want me back anymore."

"I'd react the same as you think if I was him. I loved you and I fought for our relationship, I gave out efforts and you will eventually spit out all my hard work one day. It's awful, Egan. I don't think you know what you're wasting-he's the most generous guy ever! There are millions of girls who desires him-he doesn't even know that most of them exists. But that's not the point, look at his trait, look at what he's done for you, Egan. You have to figure out how to get out of this bullshit, and A.S.A.P. If my impression towards him is all wrong you have to tell me immediately. I'm not encouraging my best friend to the generous guy as appearance on his shell, but a total douche behind the scenes." She strongly stated.

I shook my head as if she'll see me and then I sobbed. Tears were already rolling down my cheeks because her response towards the dumbness I did was pretty exact. "No, he's really humble. A gentleman."

"And do you want to lose that?"

"No. But it's no use anymore."

"No use? I don't think it's no use, Egan. He's just preparing to move on and he must be craving for you right now. Go get him."

"No."

"What the hell is wrong with you Egan?"

I swallowed three times, wanting to reply, but I don't know what's wrong with me either so I didn't know how to respond to that. Stupidity is taking over my brain, even my friends are already rubbing it on my face.

I should really listen to them. I should get back...

No, that's stupid. I probably shouldn't. He won't accept me anymore.

But I can try, right?

I can. Or I could. Or I should.

Or I can't. Or I couldn't. Or I shouldn't.

It's either I'm a coward little bitch that doesn't want to try and still complains about no shit happening or I'm just afraid for his reply. Rest assured it won't be something I will be happy about.

But I could try, right?

This is stupid as hell. No way.

...

I told my friends all about what I was planning and they all encouraged me to do it. Since they did, all I have to do is just think about it and make a decision. I asked for advice and their thoughts about what I wanted to do, in the end it still would be my choice if I'm going to follow them or not. That's how things work.

But all they want is for me to be happy, and they all know that Hunter could make me happy around these times.

But it may feel like I need him, but as time goes by I won't anymore. I will be standing on my own with no one to lean on anymore. Because my happiness doesn't depend on one person anymore, and that one day will come. It sounds like a fantastic thing.

All I have to do is go through this hell. This infinity-like lasting hell on earth also known as the heartbreak. But it will all be worth it when one day I'll wake up with no harsh thoughts on my mind. Although I don't think I have the every right to be bitter. I mean he tried to make things right and I ended up going on the wrong path.

Or am I going in the wrong path? Should I go back or should I continue so I can meet Satan live sooner or later as I suffer on this misery?

All these thoughts are leading me to one thing.

I should really get back with him.

Or should I?

Goddammit!