Man on the Moon [Completed]

What the hell, Taehyung!

☽

"Sir," Jin snapped over from one of the pilot's seats. "Taehyung's pod is returning to the ship."

Namjoon raised a brow, approaching the radar next to his captain's chair. The was indeed a detected vessel approaching the ship, it is colored blue on his radar to indicate that it was one of their vessels.

The younger sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Well, we know he isn't dead."

Yoongi waltzed into the control room, a plate full of numerous vague goods. He took in a mouth of whatever the slob was, glancing at the radar. "I thought you said Taehyung's pod was fucking up."

Namjoon gazed behind himself at the older, then shaking his head silently. "It is, but he took off anyway, that dumbass thinks he's invincible."

Yoongi furrowed his brows at Namjoon. "But he is invincible, captain."

Namjoon shook his head, knowing better. Actually, Namjoon knew better than anyone else, or at least he thought he did. "You know those steroids Taehyung takes?"

The latter nodded, slipping into his seat across from Namjoon's. "Yeah, aren't they supposed to just help him fend off foreign deceases or something?"

"If Taehyung is invincible, why would he need those?" Those words shut Yoongi up immediately. "Those steroids are enhancers, they enhance his natural regeneration ability."

"Well the kid is already invincible, why would he-"

"You know how the majority of Jupiter is gas, right?" Yoongi nodded at Namjoon's words, letting the younger continue. "Well, that gas is toxic to almost every living thing to exist, it's like breathing in acid, and that's why it's so isolated. No one who isn't Jovian is allowed on the planet for their own safety. Well, Jovians have this gene in them that absorbs those toxins into their body and turns it into a catalyst, that causes the Jovians' cell to replace themselves a hundred times faster than any normal being. So Taehyung will never have cuts, bruises, illnesses, unhealthy hair or skin-"

"So... Where is this going?"

"I'm getting there!" Namjoon snared, clearing his throat. "The only way Taehyung could keep his cells replenishing at the speed they do is by continuously breathing in Jovian air, but since he's with us now, he has to resort to the temporary alternative. Steroids. But at some point those drugs will lose their effect without those toxins, so Taehyung has to go back home every few months. If he doesn't, a common cold could possibly kill him since his immune system, without those toxins, have no actual structure. It's the same reason why Jovians never actually die from natural causes, because as they age that toxin absorbing gene they have deteriorates. In the end, their greatest strength is also their greatest downfall."

"Dude.. I did not get a thing you just fucking said."

The younger dropped his head in disappointment. "And this is why I'm the brains, and you're not."

The latter grimaced, fighting out a pout. "Shut up!"

"Taehyung's boarding the ship!" Jin hollered from the control panel.

Namjoon cocked his head towards the door, Yoongi angrily tossing down his plate of food to go see Taehyung in. The three got up from their seats, navigating to the rear end of the ship in not much of a rush.

Jin glanced at Namjoon causing the other to look back at him as he let off a smirk. "How much you wanna bet Tae's pod caught on fire."

Jin thought for a few moments. "How about.. four hundred coilies?"