Chapter Seventy

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Oh shit this is a long chapter sorry

I'm not really sorry

Taehyung Focus

Jungkook wrapped his arms around me and I blindly fell forward and started crying into his shirt. After a long while, I moved back and punched his chest. "Ow," He said. "Why did you punch me?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked him. He frowned. "Tell you what?"

"Are you kidding me!? You know exactly what I'm talking about. I could have saved Jimin and Yoongi and Hoseok and you so much faster if you just told me what it was!" I started crying again. "I could have saved him before EunHo dragged me into the elevator! I could have done so much if I just knew."

Jungkook looked down. I stood up, walking away from him and to the bed to sit down. He was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "I-I'm so sorry," he said. I scoffed. "Sorry won't bring Jimin back to life! Why wasn't I allowed to know!?"

"I... I didn't want you to worry more. You-you already had enough on your plate and I didn't want you to get worse."

"What the fuck kind of excuse is that!?" I started to think back to all the things that had happened and began to sob again. "I could have saved Jin," I whispered, remembering why he was dead.

"I could have saved Jin!" I repeated, screaming. "And now all I have is Namjoon!" Jungkook averted his eyes and I frowned. "Where... where is Namjoon?" I asked. "Is he fighting or hiding?"

Jungkook looked back up at me with a guilty look on his eyes. I didn't understand. "What- What is that look? Why are you looking at me like that?" Jungkook breathed in a shaky breath. "Nam-Namjoon is-is dead."

I let out an ugly sound. It was something between a sob and a cry and a moan of distress. I hugged my knees to my chest and started wailing into them. "No he's not!" I screamed. "You didn't let him die! You didn't!"

Jungkook didn't say anything. He didn't speak for a while. He let me cry. After a long time passed, I started to calm down. I felt a hand caress my back. I pushed it away. "Don't touch me," I muttered coldly. When I looked up, I saw tears in Jungkook's eyes. He looked at me with an expression of remorse and loss. A tinge of guilt weighed in my stomach. I didn't like seeing him that way.

We stayed there looking into each other's eyes. Mine were filled with a look of anger and sadness but I couldn't keep glaring at him. My gaze softened and I looked away. "How's your fever?" I asked. Jungkook didn't say anything.

"Are you just not going to talk to me?" I asked, turning back around angrily. "Are you scared!? Scared I'm gonna say something you don't like?"

Jungkook swallowed. "I'm scared of what you'll say, yes. But not because it's something I don't want to hear," he said. "I don't want this to-to ruin us. I- I don't-" he closed his eyes. "I don't want to let-let you go." He sounded calm and quiet- quivery- but there was still an obvious stutter in his voice.

I hunched over and started crying again. What about us? Did I care what happened? He didn't tell me the one thing that would have gotten me through my entire life so much easier. He didn't tell me the one thing that could have saved everyone who's dead now.

But... can I really stay angry with him?

Flashback

"Stop crying, you little bitch," EunHo growled. I looked up at him in the elevator. "You-you killed him," I said with so much venom in my voice. "You know what?" EunHo asked, a smirk on his nasty face. "I really didn't. You killed that boy."

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