Shy

Heart hurt Chapter 69

Daryl's ignoring me. Completely. I'm lucky to even get one glance or comment a day. Carl's detached and very quiet. He's staying in his mom's old cell. Carol was found earlier by Daryl. We have no idea if she's dead or alive. Rick's a little koo koo. Which I completely understand. He just lost his wife. I may not have been very fond of her, but I still feel bad for her. T-Dog's dead. The prisoners, Oscar and Axel, are with our group now. I guess Oscar saved Rick's butt. Beth's like the baby's babysitter. The baby has no name yet. She's just, baby. Well, Daryl calls her something else but I don't swear. Hershel's doing okay. He's still learning how to use his crutches but he's getting better. Maggie's still a little upset over Lori.

I'm staying in the cell block from now on. At least until Daryl forgives me and says I'm allowed to do other wise. 

I color on a piece of paper as I try to pass the boring, long hours of the day. I hate this right now. I'm all alone. I feel all alone even though I'm surrounded by people. 

I sigh and throw my coloring book onto the ground. There's a bunch of commotion coming from the main area that draws me in. I stand up. Might as well check it out. I've got nothing better to do. 

I stare at the woman on the floor. She reaches for her big sword thingy and Rick pushes it away. Her hair is awesome! She looks around nervously and I see some blood fall out of a bullet wound on her leg. 

Daryl's a few feet in front of me. He turns around after telling Rick to come into the cell block. 

" Inside. " He says to me. I nod and walk back to my cell. 

I smile at Carol as I pass by her cell. She waves at me weakly and I pull at my shirt. Who's the new girl? She looks cool. 

" I'm goin' out Jesse. Stay here. " Daryl grumbles as he passes by me. I nod and pull out a stack of playing cards. 

After Oscar, Daryl, the woman and Rick leave, I walk over to Carl who's standing by the door. " Hey Carl. Do you want to play cards with me? " I ask softly. 

" No. " He says with no emotions. 

" Oh. Okay. Are you alright? Do you need-" 

" Just leave me alone Jesse! " Carl stomps away and I feel guilty. I didn't mean to make him upset. I didn't mean to make him mad. 

Everyone's mad at me. Everyone. I'm just trouble. No one wants me here. I wish I could just disappear. Then they wouldn't have to worry about me. 

Carl hates me. I feel horrible. Wait, no. No. Why am I hurting over him? Why am I hurting over Daryl and Carl? They don't matter. They shouldn't matter. Not to me. I can't be like this. I don't need them. I don't need their help. I don't need a friend or, or anyone. I just need myself. That's all. 

Then why do I still hurt?