Shy

Supplies Chapter 79

Merle's dead. 

How did he die? The Governor. It's always the Governor. 

Rick was planning on turning Michonne in so the Governor and his people would leave us alone. Ended up not happening. I guess he got guilty over thinking about that. 

I'd feel the same way. I don't think I could give someone over to the Governor. I'd feel sad. That man is terrible, who knows what he'd do to her. 

I like Michonne. She's a good person, a nice lady. Nicer than some I've met before. She might not talk much, but she helps out a lot. 

Daryl and everyone else seems to get along with her so I think she's trustworthy. 

Daryl hasn't been out of his cell all day. He got back, told Rick about Merle, and retreated to his cell. 

I haven't gone to see him. I don't want to bug him or get him angry. He needs his time alone. He just lost his brother. Again. 

If I had a sibling and they died, I'd probably react the same way. It has to be so hard to lose a family member you've known your entire life. It's hard enough losing someone I've only known for a couple of years, I can't imagine what it's like losing someone you've known forever. 

I've always wondered if I had a sibling or where my parents were. I never found out anything about my parents, I was never told anything. The only thing I know is I was left when I was born and then thrown into the foster care system with thousands of other kids. 

I think I'd like to have a sibling. It'd be nice not to be alone. I'd have someone to talk with and to tell all my secrets. We'd be able to cause trouble together and we'd never leave each other. 

That won't ever happen though. I wouldn't wish anyone into this life that we're forced to live. I guess it's better that I don't have a sibling. I wouldn't want to see them die or get hurt. 

I hate having to kill both people and walkers to survive. I hate that everyone has to worry about whether or whether not we'll live or find food in the upcoming days. 

I wish things could all go back to normal. 

*****

" Grab your things and put them in the car. " Daryl says to me while walking past my cell. 

I nod. " Okay. " I shove all of my clothes and books into my bag and hurry out after him. We walk outside to the cars with our stuff. I set my things into one of the cars, glancing around at everyone. 

Carl brushes past his dad who reaches out for him. 

Carl sets his things next to mine, turning around and walking away before I can talk to him. 

I watch Carl walk away from everyone. 

I sigh, trying to think of ways to ways to make Carl feel better. 

Everyone's angry. I don't know how to help them. I don't know how to make them feel better. 

" Go help Carl with the rest of the supplies. " Daryl points to Carl. 

I nod and chase after Carl. " Carl! Wait up! " I shout. 

Carl slows down a bit, waiting for me to catch up. " What's up? " He asks. 

" Daryl told me to help you. " I shove my hands into my jean pockets. 

We walk together in silence. 

" Are you okay? " I ask, slightly worried about my friend. 

" Yeah. I'm fine. " Carl lies. 

" Sure you are. " I say sarcastically. 

Carl glances at me. " I'm just a little upset. Nothing for you to worry about. " 

I narrow my eyes at the familiar words. " Why does everyone feel like they need to hide things from me? I'm not stupid. I can see what's going on. " 

" We know you're not stupid, Jesse. You're just a kid. You don't need to worry about everything yet. " 

I frown. " So are you! But you get to shoot a gun and kill walkers and stuff. I don't get to do chicken squat. " 

" I'm a man. You're a kid. " 

I roll my eyes. " Okay. Fine. " Man my butt. He's only a few years older than me. 

We pick up some boxes of food and other necessities we might need and bring them out to the cars. 

" Jesse, come 'er. " Daryl waves me over to him. 

I set down the box in the car and hurry over to Daryl. 

" You're going with the other kids and Hershel to the woods until everything finishes. I don't want you trying anything, okay? No runnin' off, no trying to kill anything, no going away from the car. I don't want you leaving the car. If something happens and you absolutely need to leave the car, take who you can and run to the road. If someone who isn't us shows up, hide in the woods. Here's your knife. " Daryl hands me a knife. " Carl's got a gun in case somethin' happens. Be careful, okay? " 

" Yes, Daryl. " 

" Okay. Good. Now listen to Hershel. He tells you to do somethin', you do it. Go get in the car. " Daryl pats my shoulder before walking over to Rick. 

I listen and get into the car Hershel's in. 

Battle time.