Could Have Been Better (Crush Series #2)

Chapter 45

CHAPTER 45 — There's No Other

I was so determined to prove something. Hindi ko na rin maintindihan kung anong pumasok sa isip ko at binitawan ng aking bibig ang mga letrang iyon. But regret started to flow in me when I heard nothing but gasps from the people around me. I could see the realizations on their faces. My feelings suddenly changed. All of a sudden, I was guilty. Biglang napuno ng kahihiyan ang katawan ko.

"Oh my gosh..." Eden breathed exaggeratedly.

Her brothers, who were seating beside her, grimaced at her reaction. Ngunit nang tumama ang mga mata nila sa akin ay nahiya rin ako dahil siguradong maging sila ay pareho ng iniisip. Maaaring hinuhusgahan na nila ako.

"Is it my cousin?" tila nawiwindang na tanong ni Eden na binalingan pa ang tinutukoy niyang pinsan. Alam kong hindi totoo ang gulat niya.

Ramdam na ramdam ko ang pamumula ng aking pisngi. Lahat tuloy ng kanilang atensyon ay nasa akin. Ako ang naging sentro ng usapan at napansin ko pa ang bulungan ng ilang babaeng narito. All because of this game, my honesty and my determination to prove something, I felt like I was brought to shame.

"It's okay to be honest sometimes, Elaine. Wala namang masama dahil nagsasabi ka lang ng totoo," biglang pahayag ni Eden na hindi ko maintindihan kung saan ang pinanggalingan. "And lying is a bad thing, you know," she said in a mocking tone.

There was something in her eyes that I couldn't identify. Someting that bothers me. It tells me that she knows a lot about me and Conrad. Nagawa pa niya akong ngisihan at hindi ko batid kung nang-aasar ba iyon o kung ano man.

"Eden..." her brother, Warner, tapped her arm and whispered something to her that only they could hear.

She potruded her lips and looked at Conrad again.

"Oh! I'm sorry for being insensitive," ani Eden habang nakatingin kay Conrad. Gumalaw ang mga mata niya upang tingnan ang nasa tabi nto.

Napayuko ako at hindi ko na alam kung dapat pa bang ituloy ang usapang ito o umalis na lang ako. Ngayon ko lang ulit naalalang nandito pala si Shayne. I was so aware of her presense a while ago but it didn't stop me from uttering those three letters. Tatlong letrang nagbuking sa akin. It's not the complete name, but just with those letters, I was caught off guard.

Sinilip ko sila Conrad. He was still looking at me with the same intensity in his eyes. Hindi pa nagbabago at kung tama nga ako, may ibig sabihin ang mga tinging iyon. I just hoped I was right. It would mean so much to me if it was true.

But when I looked at his girlfriend, Shayne, I realized that what I was feeling was wrong. Hindi ko na dapat ipilit pa kung mayroon nang iba. Paano kung mas mahal pala niya si Shayne? Paano kung naguguluhan din siya dahil biglaan na lang akong sumulpot muli sa buhay niya? Pero sa huli, si Shayne pa rin pala ang pipiliin niya? I was his past and I'm not sure if I could still be his future. It hurts so much.

That's why I averted my eyes when I saw Shayne about to glance at me.

As I was saying the letters while looking at Conrad, I know that I was right. I saw it. I saw that there's still something. I recognized it. His eyes were deeper and it was trying to speak to me. There was a hidden emotion that he's trying to guard. Whatever it is, I want to find out.

But would it still be right to know its meaning?

"I think Shayne's fine with it. Tutal, kaniya naman si Con at hindi naman magpapaagaw, 'di ba?" tanong ni Lorenzo na may halong panunuya. "Ano naman kung may babaeng nagkakagusto sa kaniya? That's normal even if a guy already has a girlfriend."