Once Again

53

Three weeks after Jungkook left Tokyo to return to Seoul, Taehyung came home from work and found his husband sitting in their backyard, massaging his temple. Their son Minjoon was with the Jung cousins, who had asked to have him overnight because they missed their little Min-min.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"I don't know, Tae. I've been having these headaches."

"Is it anything to do with your pregnancy? Have you been to the doctor?"

"Yes. He said I'm fine, and the baby is fine."

Jin chewed on his bottom lip as he looked at his husband anxiously. The look on Jin's face made Taehyung worry. He could see there was more. Something that Jin was keeping from him.

"Baby, what is it? What are you not telling me?"

"The doctor asked when do I normally have these headaches."

Taehyung waited. He could see Jin was nervous, almost scared of telling him, and he didn't like it. He didn't like when Jin was frightened. It reminded him too much of their early days together when Jin first woke up from his coma. He was frightened a lot back then because he couldn't remember who he was. Taehyung began to rub his husband's back to calm him.

"It's okay, baby. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

"I told him I've been having these visions. Many strange visions."

Taehyung froze but he forced himself to relax and continue rubbing his husband's back. He didn't want to alarm Jin but he knew what those visions were. Jin's memories were returning, and they were not coming back slowly. They were flooding back.

"He asked if they were memories but I told him I don't know because I don't remember doing any of them with you," Jin looked up at Taehyung, confusion clouding his eyes.

Such beautiful eyes, Taehyung thought. I fell for you when I saw your beautiful eyes, my love.

"He asked if they might be memories from my past. My lost memories."

Taehyung's heart stopped. There it was. The fear he had always had. That Jin will remember his past, remember Jungkook, remember their love.

Jin's doctor knew about Jin's circumstances. He had been his doctor when Taehyung first brought Jin to Japan. He was Taehyung's doctor before, but now he took care of their family.

"He thinks they might be, and he thinks I should try to remember my past," said Jin. "He thinks I've been having headaches because I've been suppressing them. Because I'm confused by them."

Taehyung forced himself to take slow steady breaths. He had been worried about this since the last time he saw Jungkook. Though he had told Jungkook that he will never allow him anywhere near Jin so he wouldn't force him into remembering his past, deep down he had worried if suppressing Jin's memories would affect his health in the long run.

"The doctor thinks if I continue like this, it will affect my health and jeopardise our baby."

Taehyung swallowed the lump in his throat. He had tried. He had truly tried to protect Jin. But it seems the tide was turning against him, and it was now time to decide.

Later that night, Taehyung looked up at the ceiling of his bedroom. He held his husband in his arms, and listened to him softly breathing as he slept. They had talked late into the night, and then Taehyung had made slow, sweet love to Jin.

He wanted to make his own memory. His own sweet memory of his Jin, of the life they had, of the love they shared. He wanted to make sure that he had something to hold on to while Jin was away. He had made up his mind.

He was letting Jin go to Seoul, go to Jungkook to try and retrieve his lost memories, and he was letting him go alone. Though he didn't trust Jungkook not to try and influence Jin, he trusted his husband, and he had faith that Jin will make the right decision once he remembers his past. That he will return home. Back into Taehyung's arms.