Once Again

65

Author's Note: This chapter is my original draft, and not the one that I uploaded in my first publication of this book. I like this one better, and I'm curious to see if any of my followers or readers from my BlueTulip97 days can detect the difference(s).

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"Kookie. I used to call you Kookie. My Kookie dough."

Jin saw the moment when Jungkook internally let go of the strength that had been holding him up all this time. He watched as the tears gathered in the other man's eyes. He felt a slight breeze as Jungkook reached across the table for his hand but he quickly pulled away to avoid contact. The sad and disappointed look on Jungkook's face made his heart clench but he forced himself to remain indifferent.

No, Jin, don't give in. He dumped you, remember? He married someone else even though he claimed he loved you, and only you.

It was hard. So hard because Jin wanted nothing more than to let Jungkook hold his hand, pull him in, and hold him tight the way he used to. Remembering his past had opened the floodgates, made him remember their time together in the States before Jungkook left, before Jin himself left the States to move to Seoul to be with Jungkook.

Jin missed Jungkook. He missed his hugs. He missed his kisses. And he missed their intimate moments together. He missed all of it so much that he had to force himself to stay away from the other man after he regained most of his memories.

Jin had to because if he didn't, he would've begged Jungkook to hold him again, kiss him again, and make love to him again. And he couldn't do that. Not to his husband. Not to their son. And not to the unborn child in his belly.

"Jinnie, please..."

"How long?" Jin's voice was glacial.

"Wh... what?"

"How long have you known that I was Kim Seokjin?"

Jungkook looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"Was it amusing to you, Jungkook? To see me floundering like that? Did you laugh behind my back as you talked about your past with me, knowing full well that I had no memory of it? Did Taehyung know? Did both of you have a good chuckle at poor confused Kim Seokjin?"

Jin laughed but his laughter held no humour.

"Did you have a bet to see how long it would take to wind me up as I wonder why some things seemed so familiar with you even though I didn't know you? How much money did you both bet? Who won? You? Taehyung?"

Jin's voice was getting louder as he became more agitated, and a part of him was glad that they were seated at this table. Though Jungkook may not care about other people's opinion of himself, Jin cared very much. He wondered if Jungkook remembered how he normally reacted whenever he attracted unsolicited attention.

Perhaps this was why Jungkook had reserved a table in this secluded section of the restaurant. It was far enough away from the other diners so they would have privacy. Jin had always hated how people looked at him whenever they went out. It made him self-conscious, and diminished his enjoyment greatly.

"No, Jin, it was never amusing to me. I didn't know you had lost your memories. When I first met you, I thought you were someone who looked remarkably similar to you. I wanted it to be you. God, how I wanted it to be you but after I talked to you that day at your anniversary party, I was persuaded to think otherwise. It broke my heart. It broke me."

As Jin was about to rebut Jungkook, their waiter approached with the bottle of wine that Jungkook had ordered. The young man popped the cork with great flourish and was about to pour into Jin's wine glass but Jin placed his hand over it.