Once Again

70

For the next three days, Jin avoided Jungkook and locked himself in his room. Though Jungkook had the means to force Jin's door open, the sobbing he heard from his beloved's room that night after their conversation in the restaurant, stayed his hand and he gave Jin the privacy he wordlessly requested.

Nonetheless, he took care of Jin's needs and made sure that Jin had all his meals by leaving a full tray of food on the floor outside his bedroom door, three times a day. And he always refilled flasks of water for the man so he would stay hydrated.

Jungkook worked from home during this time so he could ensure that he was close if Jin needed help. His ex-boyfriend was pregnant, and though he wasn't the father of the man's baby, he still cared for both individuals.

When Jin finally opened his door and stepped out of his self-imposed exile, Jungkook was shocked by his appearance. It was clear his Jinnie was not sleeping well, and his pregnancy had suddenly become more pronounced underneath his clothes.

"Jinnie, are you alright?"

"Do I look alright, Jungkook-san?"

Jungkook gasped and unconsciously took a step back. It seemed Jin had reverted to the man he was when they were in Tokyo.

Jungkook-san. How Jungkook hated that appellation.

"Do you feel pain anywhere? Do you want me to take you to see a doctor?"

"No, I feel no pain," Jin's voice sounded dead. "But I want to go outside. I want to go for a walk. I need fresh air."

"Of course. Let me get a light jacket for you. It has been raining on and off today so it's a bit chilly."

Jin said nothing as he stood by the front door. He remained silent as Jungkook tucked him into a lightweight black hooded jacket. Jin could tell from the scent coming off of the inner lining that the outerwear belonged to Jungkook. He tried not to give in to his desire to inhale deeply.

"Shall we go?" Jungkook asked. Though he knew Jin was still upset with him, he hoped that he would allow him to accompany him.

"Whatever," Jin responded listlessly as he slid his feet into his shoes and then opened the door.

Jungkook followed behind Jin the first few blocks but after Jin stopped at a corner shop to look back at him, he hurried to Jin's side and they began walking again but this time alongside each other. It soothed the crying beast inside Jungkook that his beloved would allow him to be next to him again.

"Everything is starting to come back to me now," Jin's tone was melancholy. "This is all becoming familiar again. I didn't live here for very long before my suicide but I spent a lot of time jogging through these streets on my runs, and walking here and there when I needed to destress."

Jungkook had always wondered what Jin got up to when he first arrived in Seoul. He had not known that his boyfriend was even in the country until the night they came across each other in a hallway at the hotel where his wedding rehearsal dinner was held. He had always thought that he would have to break the news of his marriage to Jin in a long-distance phone call. A coward's way out, no doubt, because he would not have to see the devastation on his beloved's face, nor the heartbreak that his actions would undoubtedly cause.

"That's the supermarket where I always got my groceries," Jin pointed at the building. "And across from it is my favourite grill joint. They always had samgyeopsal specials on Wednesdays."

"They still do," Jungkook confirmed as he smiled gently at Jin.

"Over there was a coffee shop that I used to frequent at the weekend when I would walk from the apartment to get the paper," Jin continued to reminisce. "I didn't get my newspaper delivered daily because with my busy schedule at the hospital, I knew I would get no reading done. So I only got them at the weekend."

"They must have made really good coffee if you were there every weekend. We both know what a coffee snob you are," Jungkook teased.

"The coffee shop burned down about two years ago, I was told, and now it's a hagwon. How sad," Jin whispered.

They continued walking for some time, Jin offering up little anecdotes from the time he lived in the neighbourhood. Jungkook listened attentively, his soul thirsty for Jin's forgotten past. It made him happy that Jin was opening up to him again, but it also made him sad when he realised how lonely Jin must have felt as he waited for the right time to surprise Jungkook with the revelation that he had been close all the while. He still remained stunned at how well Jin hid the fact that he was already in Seoul when Jungkook thought he was still in America. If only he had known then what he knew now.