Once Again

55

Jin concentrated on the passing scenery as Jungkook drove them into the city. He was still embarrassed by his behaviour on the parking ramp.

He doesn't know what made him fawn over Jungkook's car like that but seeing it had triggered a warm feeling in his chest. And when Jungkook told him the car's name was Q-ball, and showed him the keychain, he had been puzzled.

How did I know what Jungkook called his car?

There was also the matter of the kiss in the arrivals hall, but Jin was not ready to deal with it yet because there was a heavy feeling of guilt inside him. Guilt and shame, so he decided to put it aside for now and continue looking out of the window.

Some of the places they passed was vaguely familiar to him. There were times when he would hear conversations in his head as a stranger's voice shared anecdotes with him. He wondered if the stranger might have been a taxi driver from his past giving his customary tourist spiel to a passenger.

He thought back to his conversation with Taehyung at the airport this morning, before he boarded his flight. He had been apprehensive about going to Seoul without his husband. He didn't want to go without him, but Taehyung had been insistent.

"Please, Tae. Come with me," Jin begged as he held onto his husband's hands

"Baby, we talked about this. I can't go with you or I will taint your memories."

"But I love you, Tae. I want you to come with me. I'm scared. I don't want to be alone in Seoul."

"I know you're scared, but you won't be alone in Seoul. Jungkook will be there."

"What can he do? He doesn't know me. How can he help me get my memories back?"

Taehyung looked away before turning back to his husband again with a sad smile.

"Jungkook knows Seoul well. He can take you places to jog your memory. He will know where to go if you get a vision and describe the things that you see."

"Tae, you know Seoul too. You grew up there!"

Jin knew that he was whining, but in the week leading up to this trip, he had begun getting cold feet. He wasn't sure he wanted his memories back. He was afraid of what he might find.

"Baby, I haven't lived in Seoul since high school. Seoul is different from what I remember."

"Tae..."

Jin's eyes welled with unshed tears, and his husband immediately cupped his face to kiss him sweetly. The kiss confused Jin because it was different from Taehyung's usual kisses. This one was filled with desperation, as if he was trying to get his fill of Jin. When Taehyung finally broke the kiss, he kept his eyes closed as he rested his forehead against Jin's.

"Go, baby. You must go now. Before I change my mind and keep you here," he whispered.

So Jin had walked away from his husband with a heavy heart and boarded the plane. He had cried before his flight even took off, and it had caught the attention of the man sitting next to him.

The man had tried to take his mind off the impending takeoff, thinking Jin had a fear of flying but Jin assured him that he was fine. The man then tried to chat him up but Jin told him that he was married. It had dimmed the man's enthusiasm but he still flirted with Jin a little until Jin flashed his wedding ring and told him that there was someone meeting him at their destination.

The man tried again after they landed in Seoul, causing Jin to quicken his pace to lose him. And he had succeeded when he blended himself with the passengers of another flight but the man caught up with him as he walked into the arrivals hall. He had panicked because he was alone in a foreign country and there was no sign of Jungkook who was supposed to pick him up.

As he tried to shake the man off, Jungkook had appeared and whispered "Follow my lead" in his ear. He had cringed when he called Jungkook "honey" and when Jungkook kissed him without warning, his brain had shut down. But at the same time, he heard a voice at the back of his mind say, "Cookie dough. My sweet cookie dough."

When Jungkook deepened the kiss, Jin had felt something stir in his belly. Something that felt strangely familiar, like he has done this many times before, but it was not the same feeling that he always had when Taehyung kissed him. This was stronger.

Taehyung! Oh no! What am I doing?!

Jin had pushed Jungkook away from him but the damage was done. He had kissed another man who wasn't his husband. The transgression laid heavily within him.

"Jin, are you okay?"

Jin heard the concern in the other man's voice, and immediately plastered a smile on his face as he turned. His smile faltered when Jungkook narrowed his eyes at him.

"Don't pretend to be fine in front of me when you're not, Jin. You can't fool me."

Jin's head throbbed, and his heart began to pound like a wrecking ball in his chest as his fading smile gave way to confusion.

An older Jungkook was in front of him but a younger Jungkook was superimposed on top of the older as a firm voice said in his head, "Don't ever pretend to be fine in front of me when it's clear that you're not, Jinnie. Don't even try. You can't fool the man who loves you with all his heart. You can't fool me."