Once Again

57

Jin tossed and turned in bed. He had long since thrown the blanket off and it lay bunched up at the foot of the bed. He couldn't get comfortable, and everything felt too warm for him even though the air conditioning was blowing frigid air into the room. He couldn't sleep.

He had woken up about two hours ago, confused and all at sea. He didn't know where he was. The last thing he remembered was Jungkook asking him a question before he passed out but this was not the room that he was last in.

How did I get here? And who changed my clothes? Whose clothes are these? Are they Jungkook's? Where are my clothes?

The day's events played on a loop in his head, and would not give him a moment's peace, especially the moment when he got to Jungkook's apartment. Just thinking about it made his stomach twist and flip.

Flashback...

The awkwardness between him and Jungkook that started at the airport had grown after the strange vision he had of a younger Jungkook. Then as soon as Jungkook drove through the city proper and headed for the neighbourhood by the river, a strong feeling of déjà vu had swept over him. He tried to shake it off but the feeling lingered as they passed office buildings, shops, schools, and private villas.

A supermarket loomed ahead just before Jungkook turned into a quiet street, and Jin suddenly had a vision of himself coming out with bags of groceries and putting them in the back of a dark vehicle that looked a lot like Jungkook's car.

He then saw himself getting into the driver's seat and driving on the exact same route that he was on now. His choice of clothing was puzzling though because he was wearing green scrubs and there was a badge hanging from the hem of his top. The badge bore a Rod of Asclepius and a man's name. Why was he dressed like that?

Next, Jin saw himself jogging along the street in a tank top and shorts, ear buds in his ears as he held his phone in one hand. His face was grim and his eyes were shining with unshed tears. He was clearly upset about something, and Jin's head throbbed as he wondered what it was.

A corner eatery came into view, and suddenly Jin felt compelled to visit it. He asked Jungkook to stop but the latter tried to dissuade him, telling him that they were close to their destination, but Jin insisted, pleaded even, and Jungkook gave in.

Jin looked around the small restaurant after they were shown to their table and had given their order to the ahjumma. Nothing's changed, he thought to himself. The plants are still where they were before, and the faded calendar is still on the wall. But when did I come here?

Jin knew this was going to happen – these visions. He had felt the symptoms before they happened. He had learned to read the signs for when a vision was coming because it had been happening to him frequently for the past month.

Jin never shared his visions with his husband until a couple of weeks ago because he didn't want to worry him. The visions always gave him a headache, and made him feel exhausted after. Sometimes he would pass out.

But he'd had no such warning when he got the vision of a younger Jungkook. It simply came on after Jungkook warned him not to pretend to be fine when he wasn't. And it confused him because it felt familiar. Younger Jungkook felt familiar. Like home. So he'd asked, "Jungkook-san, do I know you?"

Enf of flashback...

This is ridiculous, Jin thought as he sat up in bed. Why am I trying to sleep when it's obvious that I can't?

He freed himself from the twisted sheets, and got out of bed. He opened the bedroom door and stepped out into the darkened hallway, pausing to listen for sounds that would indicate anyone else was awake but it was quiet.

He made his way to the kitchen, trying not to think about why he knew his way around Jungkook's home even though he stepped foot into the apartment only a few hours ago for the very first time. It perturbed him how he knew things about this place.

After Jungkook paid for their meal and led them back to his car, Jin had sat quietly with his eyes closed as he rubbed his temple. His head was throbbing, and it felt like there was a hundred jackhammers trying to split his skull. He was beginning to regret his decision to come here. He should not have agreed with Taehyung and his doctor. What do they know? They're not the ones feeling this pain, this confusion.

"Are you alright, Jin?" Jungkook had asked.

Jin was about to reply that he was fine but then he remembered what Jungkook had said in the car earlier so he shook his head, his eyes still tightly shut.

"I have a headache and I'm feeling nauseous."

"There's a hospital not far from here. Shall I turn around?" Jungkook's voice was laced with worry.

"No, it's just a headache," Jin assured him. "I just need to lie down and rest."

Jungkook had sped up then and before long, he was parking his car and shaking Jin to rouse him. Jin had woken up and looked around with unfocused eyes before pushing himself out of the vehicle and making his way to the lifts. He had closed his eyes again and leaned against the wall in the lift lobby as he waited for Jungkook to catch up to him.

When he heard Jungkook come in, pulling his luggage behind him, Jin pressed the button to summon a lift car. At the back of his mind, he knew he ought to apologise to Jungkook for making him get his luggage but the pounding in his head had driven good manners away.

The lift arrived and Jin stepped in as soon as the doors opened. He waited until Jungkook was standing next to him before he pressed the floor number. He doesn't notice Jungkook looking at him sharply.

When they got to their floor, Jin shuffled to the apartment's front door and entered the code on the keypad. A short burst of beeps signalled the door was unlocked and Jin opened it.

He took off his shoes in the entryway and walked towards the living room, his hand on the wall to support him. He knew he was on the verge of passing out, and he had to get to a soft surface quickly to prevent any injuries. As soon as the living room came into view, he sighed with relief and laid himself down on the sofa.

"Jin?"

"Hmm?" Jin answered tiredly. He could feel the darkness approaching.

"How did you know all of the entry codes? And how did you know which apartment to go to?"

Jungkook's questions had been bothering him since he woke up. How did he know all those things? Jungkook had said he didn't know him. No, Jin, he didn't say that, a voice said in his head. He never answered your question properly. He deflected.

Jin frowned as he recalled Jungkook's answer and how nervous he'd been as he responded.

"Of course you do. I'm Taehyung's best friend. And I'd like to think that you and I are friends as well."

A grim look settled over Jin's face. Jungkook's actions were suspicious. He had been nervous and excited at the airport, and then awkward in the car. A strange vibe had then settled over him when they entered his neighbourhood and it had rubbed off on Jin, causing the visions to come.

Today the visions were overwhelming, coming at him like pellets of rain during a violent storm. In the past, the visions had been sparse, about one every other day, but today everything felt like he was retracing actions from the past. It was driving him mad. He resolved to ask Jungkook more questions tomorrow, and this time he wasn't going to let the other man deflect him again. He will make Jungkook come clean.