My Unearthing Miracle

Chapter 57- Feelings Never Go Away

VanderVall Academy- Wednesday 27th March,2019-

English Class- 10.17am

Kathryn is sitting in her english class sat beside Wilson as usual ever since she moved seats. Professor M Cadwell asked the class to write out on a lined piece of paper what their greatest fears are. Kathryn sat in her chair wearing a light grey/blue and white playsuit that was off the shoulder and short sleeved, the top of the play suit was a sweetheart neckline and their was a little bow in the middle of the chest area on the play suit. Her legs were crossed and she had a pair of grey/blue gladiator sandals on her feat. Her hair was down in loose curls and she has the right side pinned back with clips. She looks up at the professor who when she spots Kathryn looking at her tilts her head trying to figure out what is wrong and gives her a head nod. Kathryn looks back down at her empty paper and picks up her pen to start writing.

"What are my greatest fears? I have many fears in life but how does a person choose which fears over powers the rest. To some my fears might seem stupid or confusing but to me it haunts my dreams, the memories scare me to death and i can never run away from them no matter how hard i try. Before i came to this school i used to love water, i used to love going into the pool and having a swim and having fun with friends and when i found out i was adopted i freaked out, you could say i was being a little dramatic as i then tried to drown myself and to begin with it was nice because it felt like everything that was weighing me down was lifted and disappeared and i watched as the fish swam away from me scared which i don't blame them and i remember asking myself if i was some kind of monster and if that is why they were swimming away and i was right, I am a monster. I have destroyed relationships, i have killed people and i killed myself, i am a monster but even after i woke up i still had this passion for the water, something drawing me too it but when my ex-boyfriend decided to drown me every day with water it soon became my worst enemy. I feared washing my hands, taking a drink of water and having a shower because the memories would come flooding back. Memories that would paralyse me in the spot, The idea of drowning makes me want to stay away from water, Makes me want to keep clear of pools. In the past i couldn't see a better way of dying but now i can't think of anything worse, i would rather have a slow and painful death than have to drown. One day i hope to manage to conquer this fear and be able to enjoy being in the pool during summer but my other fears i have no way of conquering. Some days when i close my eyes i see them like they are in my room, like they are right in front of me. Like this morning i woke up and i thought i saw one of my best friends Renee standing at the end of my bed and of course i jumped up in a fright but when i went to look again she saw gone and i knew that i was just seeing things, half asleep. I have a fear of remembering what really happened that night at the party, remembering what they did to us. Part of me never wants to remember because i might not like what i see.

Flashback -2013- Renee's Funeral-

Thirteen year old Kathryn and Amy are stood beside each other, their arms linked together as they stand at Renee's grave. While Catherine and Seth hold hand in hand on the left of Kathryn while Amy's parents Andy Mullingham and Maura Mullingham are beside their daughter Amy. Kathryn turns her head and looks at Renee's mum Rosie Howell who is inches away from the coffin in floods of tears. Renee's dad Brad Howell walks over to Rosie and puts one arm around her waist to hold her up and his other on her arm and begins to back away which makes her even more emotional. Kathryn looks away not able to look at Renee's parents heart break any longer and that is when she spots the three jocks Aaron Mayne, Gerald Constance and Tyson Hemphill, she nudges Amy's arm to get to look over and feels sick in her stomach at the sight of them. She holds her hand up to her mouth and breaks her way through the crowd and runs to the bin where she ends up being sick. Amy chases after her to make sure she is okay.