❝My life was totally simple until I woke up in the bed of a world famous K-POP band member.❞
Started: 2 December, 2019
Completed : 17 July, 2020
-Won first place in HOME BTS awards 2020 🏆
-Won second place in BTS Rose Awards 2020 🏅
-Won third plac...
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28th September, 2021
JUNGKOOK
Here I sat amongst everyone else on the dining table. Indeed today was the stupid 'breakfast day' by Jin hyung and he didn't agree on letting anybody skip because it came once a week. He believed this was meant for our mental peace and our bonding time because if we'd stay away too much, we'd disband. Yup, that's his theory.
"Just imagine if I won't be there, who'd cook your food?" Jin hyung sighed dramatically while bringing the omelette towards the table. "Taru" Taehyung hyung bluntly replied and we all chuckled at his expression. "Ya Kim Taehyung" Jin tilted his head, annoyed. "Dig in!" He smiled and we all followed, taking our pieces of food happily.
"Hmmm. That's good" Hoseok hyung said passing it to me. "So hyung..." Jimin said, turning to Namjoon. "Aren't you graduating the uni? Next year?" He asked and he nodded. "Woah" Taehyung and Hoseok clapped and he smiled brightly. "Taru started her career so soon" Yoongi commented. "Yeah. She graduated uni last year and boom. Here she is" Jimin muttered and I smiled at the thought of her. "Thank God she is." Namjoon patted Taehyung and I grinned at him shyly concentrating on his food.
"That girl was impressive. The friend she brought with her on Kook's birthday" Yoongi said and I suddenly quietened. "Ah... Y/N? She's sweet. She called me up on my birthday" Namjoon proudly voiced. "She's the best! She's very fun to be around." Jimin excitedly let out and I smiled inwardly, remembering moments from our date. "Naah but the most impressive thing is that she's in Microsoft!" Jin exclaimed and all of them nodded.
"Like when.. we were that age we were busy doing 'Wae Wae mameul hondeun gonde'" Hoseok did the heart move out of nowhere making all of us chuckle. "But seriously... Computerizing is big deal. Big deal. She got brain" Taehyung stated. "Yeah..." I muttered, the conversation slowly out of my head as my eyes fixed at a particular point, my mind constantly contemplating whether I should open up to her or not.
It's been months and no one has been able to find the key to the lock of my brain. I've been bothered, very bothered. I've been suffering but I manage to hide it up. I have no idea how to deal with this. Maybe this is what they call depression? I feel cold when it's summer and I feel hot when it's winter. I've stopped getting proper sleeps. I get sick soon. I don't get the moves right in the first time and I have to practice for a whole freaking week. I'm getting drowsy and lazy. This is how I feel all the time.
How am I supposed to put this feeling into words? It's easier to tell myself about myself than telling somebody else. It's hard. Opening up is hard. And maybe I'll feel better after letting someone know but I just can't do it. I just can't bring myself to do it. And Y/N... Well she's such a sweet person. She doesn't deserve to see the hell I've made for myself. She doesn't deserve to see my dark side.
But somehow she already has. And now I'm keeping her in the dark, probably making her even more mad. But she still waits patiently. That day on the roof... And that day in the bar... Even at her own house... She never forced me to say anything. She always waited. And still I don't trust her enough. But she keeps trying and this fact breaks me a bit.
Don't you know I'm not that confident? I'm not that fearless as you. It scares me to let someone in. Why don't you understand? Why don't you just.... leave me in my ruined state? How can you see through me, Y/N?
