Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
♢♦♢ I COULD ALWAYS HAVE MISTA J'S LAWYER SEND ME A BUNCH OF DIRTY MONEY AND WE CAN LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER ♢♦♢
"Alright, Honey Bun. We'll take a good look at it, but we can't promise nothin'." Cora Berkshire, a waitress at Carver Café, says after Harley Quinn hands her, her job resumé. She takes the red folder from the counter and disappears into the kitchen, leaving behind a hopeless teen. Formerly Harleen Quinzel, Harley has applied at four different Cafés, a sporting goods store and Forks High School. She asked for the position as a councilor, but of course, there's no chance of that ever happening. No business would ever hire someone like her, much less a school.
Desperate and defeated, Harley releases a sigh and snatches Bernie off the counter. She drags her feet as she makes her way to the nearest table. Her flashy jacket flows around her as she heads toward her family. It's made out of paper confetti and shredded caution tape. It describes her perfectly. She's a walking crime scene. Now in front of the mahogany table, she sets down the taxidermy beaver and a tray of vanilla milkshakes. She sits down in front of Bella and Charlie. Next to her, Bernie has a candy bracelet around his furry neck, a pink tutu Bella wore as a baby and a glittery tiara. His pink and blue claws match his outfit and necklace.
Charlie Swan looks up from his newspaper and wearily looks at the beaver. He was the second person to find out about Harley's heist episode in Billy Black's house, since Bella told him. Fortunately, the beaver.. isn't the beaver. Bernie is just a replica of the ancient, protectant beaver. The real one is with Billy's brother. Billy told Charlie to let Harley keep it, that though it's not the original one, it still has a history of speaking with mankind. Turns out, Jacob Black Jr. had two talking beavers. One would.. keep him company during sexual orgies, and the other one would serve as a protector. Of course, Charlie felt uneasy in agreeing to have his niece walk around with a "talking" taxidermy beaver, but he eventually accepted it has a healing mechanism.
Harley frowns and sets her head on her arm, poking the stuffed beaver's painted toenail. "There's no hope for me, Uncle," she says. "No one would hire someone like me." She sighs and cups her chin, staring at the white napkin in front of her. Charlie understandingly nods his head and sets down his newspaper to rub her shoulders.
Bella Swan, fresh out of class, looks up at her cousin and places her hand on top of Harley's. "We're figure something out, Harls."
Still frowning, Harley looks down at Bella's hand, then at Charlie. She quickly smiles. "I could always have Mista J's lawyer send me a bunch of dirty money and we can live happily ever after," she cheerily suggests.
Charlie gives her a look and shakes his head. "Harls, you know you have to find a job," he says. "A legal one," he quickly adds.
Harley yanks her hand away from Bella's and stomps her foot. "But Uncle! You know no one wants me," she says, angrily folding her arms across her chest. "Why can't I just stay home and do nothing, like Bella?" Her cousin scoffs at her comment and playfully kicks her foot. Harley gives her a mischievous smirk and kicks her back. They laugh and squeal as they play footsies under the table.
