Every Lifetime I Fall {COMPLETED but undergoing revisions}

Chapter 184: Fifth Life - Search For You

A cloud of emerald light rises above the city. Quickly spreading over the city, snow of budding green gracefully falls to the ground. The presence of this energy moved beyond the walls like an endless bamboo forest.

In my arms, Yang Zi Huo's eyes are closed as if he was only peacefully in slumber. I wanted to believe he was still here with me, that with one peck on his lips, he would wake.

The heaviness in my eyelids make the routine of waking a chore. I dread the moment when every excruciating memory returns. This space, this home, this life no longer has Yang Zi Huo in it.

I sit up on the bed. The burden of pain in my chest tightens strenuously. Some days the tightness isn't as extreme, but today feels the worst of it all.

Underneath the surface of steaming water, I let the overbearing hot temperature consume my body. When I finally rose for air, the stabbing pain in my chest made no difference to the pain that was already there.

After a bath in the hot spring pool, I make my way to the Starlight Cave. I hide my face behind a veil, tying it behind my head. As I walk into the cave, the deep colors of the abyss have thousands of sparkling stars reflected on the ceiling. I kneel down on the side of the gold platform. Forcing the corners of my lips to curl, I smile with a heavy heart.

"How do you feel today?" I whisper. Using my fingertips to gently brush away his hair from his face, I knew I would not hear a response. The silence hits me with another wave of harsh reality.

"These past five years I've been working with Yi Fei to find a cure to bring you back. I'm sorry to keep you waiting."

I wrap my hand around his, caressing it. Cold. Lifeless. Empty.

"Are you going to let me wait three hundred years for you too?" I tried to not let my voice reveal the sorrow of my true heart. Nonetheless, I was defeated by salty droplets cascading down my face. "I'll wait as you did. As long as you come back, alright Zi Huo?"

I hear footsteps approaching from behind. Drying my eyes, I don't look up at the visitor. She stands afar and observes this tiring scene.

"Yuxing..."

"Yi Fei, you've come to see Zi Huo?"

"I've come to see you as well." Her voice is filled with concern. "Have you been eating well?"

"Here and there."

"Yuxing, I worry about you. Why don't you come stay at Invigorating Essence with me?"

"You know I can't leave Yang Zi Huo alone."

"Then I can come stay here with you. We can keep looking for ways to awaken Yang Zi Huo."

I scoff, "Will we ever find a way? You've said it before that you cannot not revive him."

If the best physician in the Mortal Realm could not bring Yang Zi Huo back to me then who could?

"It is true... I cannot. His spirit left him the day his blue fire went out. If a small remnant of his soul still exists within his body, I would have done everything in my power to bring him back."

"Then should I just give up?"

Yi Fei hesitates to answer. "I think... we should lay my little brother to rest."

Frustration, grief, hopelessness brews inside my chest. I can't let him slip through my fingers once again. Even if the one here is only a hollow vessel.

"Yi Fei, you can't do this to me. You have to help me find a way."

"I know I am indebted to you forever and always, but it pains me to see you be like this. Zi Huo's soul has completely separated from this shell. We can keep him on the golden platform for years but may never find a way to bring him back."