Shot Through The Heart (Shoto Todoroki x Reader)

Chapter 56

"It's more important to keep yourself alive. There is nothing worth hurting yourself over. Just stay fighting." -Gerard Way

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♪Listening suggestion: Next To Me by Avanay

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(Y/N)'s POV

I woke up to a brisk breeze steaming through the window, left slightly ajar. The young sunlight was just starting to poke through the darkness of the dawn and the birds outside were beginning their daily song. It was early, around 7:00, and I was surprised I hadn't slept in later. 

Maybe I was anxious? Maybe I was overwhelmed with the events that had happened over the past few days. At this point, sleep seemed irrelevant and nothing more than an afterthought. 

Shoto's arm was wrapped around me with a firm, protective hold. It was like he was making sure nothing happened to me even when he was asleep. It was like he wasn't ever going to let me go again. I loved the feeling, it made me feel safe and gave me those stupid middle-school butterflies in my stomach. However, I didn't want to be in bed anymore. I gently pried his hand off of me and moved  it to the side, placing his arm in a natural position. Then I quietly eased my way out of the sheets.

I crept outside the hall, into the bathroom that the floor shared. Everything was quiet, but a peaceful quiet and not an eerie one. Being the only person awake, it seemed like life was a little unreal.

I looked at myself in front of the full length mirror. If I could choose three words to describe myself right now, they would be exhausted, matured, and unchanged. It looked like I'd lived a whole life but yet I looked the same, save the weary glaze over my dark eyes. However, I knew I had grown in character since the beginning of the year. I was stronger and more confident, and now I was free from all the horrors I had experienced in my childhood.

I twirled the ends of my long dark hair with my finger. I'd never cut it before, only trimmed it here and there. My long waist-length waves were a part of me, but then I also felt a need for a change. I was different now, and I wanted to symbolize it somehow. 

This is cliché and all the girls cut their hair after breakups, I thought. Maybe this is an impulsive decision. 

I stood there for a long while, conflicted.

Just then, I heard some familiar footsteps behind me. I saw my boyfriend approach me in the mirror.

"Something wrong?" Shoto asked.

"No," I responded.

"Why are you in the boys' bathroom?" he asked, with a hint of amusement.

I sighed. What would he think about this? What if most of why he was attracted to me was because of my hair? What if I wasn't as pretty after? My insecurities raged.

I worked up the courage to speak. "Well...I guess I kinda want to change my hair. Like a symbol of release or something." I glanced at him to see what he was thinking.

Shoto stroked my hair in thought. I could never read his blank emotionless look, especially when I was slightly anxious.

"Why are you nervous telling me?" His slight smirk calmed me. "It's not like you have to ask permission from me to cut your hair...I'm not that controlling am I?"

"No, absolutely not," I answered, "I've just never cut it before. I also don't know how."

"I could do it, if you really want to do this."