Shot Through The Heart (Shoto Todoroki x Reader)

Chapter 41

"Did you love him?"

"Yes."

"How much?"

"Does it matter?"

"Why does it not?"

"Because it wasn't enough to make him stay."

~ Hannah Lowe

♥♥♥

♪Listening suggestion: Circles by Post Malone

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(Y/N)'s POV

     His icy voice made my heart stop. The warmness in his tone was completely gone, and instead laced with controlled anger. There was silence afterwards, only broken by his breathing, which sounded stiffer then normal.

     My chest felt so tense it was becoming physically sore. I was afraid that if I spoke, I'd start crying my eyes out and I wouldn't even get the chance to explain myself.  I decided to wait and see if he'd talk first.

     There were a few more moments of unbearable silence. I was able to calm myself a little, but I couldn't get myself to talk. I wasn't sure what to say, after all I didn't know for sure that this was even about my kiss with Bakugo. Perhaps the only thing that was keeping me from crying was the tiny ray of hope that it wasn't.

     I was certain only Bakugo and I knew about the kiss. Bakugo didn't seem like he told Shoto, he probably would've told me if he let it slip. I still didn't see a way that it could've escaped from just the two of us. 

     My heart ached even more as I thought about it. I'd been keeping a secret from Shoto, the one I loved more than anything in the world. Words would fail to describe the inexorable regret I was feeling right now.

     At last, I heard his voice through the door. It was like being pulled from drowning only to be ignited with flames.

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Shoto's POV

     She wasn't saying anything, though I figured she knew.  I took a deep and silent breath before breaking the silence.

     "Why did you kiss Bakugo?" 

     As expected, she didn't respond. My mind was going insane, blurred with so many unfavorable thoughts and assumptions I couldn't help but make up. Had she been two-timing me with Bakugo this whole time? Everything we did together, and everything I did for her, did it mean nothing to her? Was she lying each time she told me "I love you"?  Did she love Bakugo? Had it always been Bakugo? Each scenario I came up with seemed worse than the last.

     I loved (Y/N). I hated Bakugo. But right now, I felt damaged more by (Y/N) than I ever have with Bakugo. I pondered how that could be possible. . .I guess we just don't expect the people who care about us, and who we love in return, to betray us.

     The silence between (Y/N) and I continued, and I ended up thinking back to when I first learned about the damn secret kiss they shared.

*flashback to earlier in the day*

     I was out of my seat as soon as the lunch bell rang. I wasn't about to waste another moment in the classroom that I could be spending with (Y/N). I snatched my bag from the back of the classroom and headed out the door, Midoriya and Kirishima following after me.