Secret Book of Fanfiction One Shots

[Hetalia] Germany - Italy, I wish I had told you sooner.

Part 5 of heta-tragedies and final - trigger warning.

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Germany deep down was a shy guy. He may seem angry, and agitated most of the time, and incredably flustered in any emtional situation— but behind all of that, his heart is made of gold, and his love skyrockets beyond anyone's ability.

He appeared as a bitter, and angry guy from how he handles himself in meetings, but somehow he just isnt what he appeared to be.

Nobody was able to see that, until he had met Italy.

Italy, his North Italy saw him for what he was and who he was on the inside. he doesnt know how Italy was even able to see that side of him, but he was glad that he could.

He would have felt the unbearable lonliness eat away at his heart if it werent for Italy.

And japan too, which had reminded him of why he had relapsed on his self-harming that he had swore he would never do again—japan, a good friend of his has committed suicide.

as being a former depressed person himself, it makes germany feel as though he wasnt wrong to think that life isnt worth living.

Germany wished Japan had come to him sooner, he would have tried help him in anyway shape or form.

but thats what hurt germany.
japan never would because he would feel like hes intruding.

japan is never the one to speak his mind so freely as others would

the sad emotions... they never show, unless when he's alone, where he can fall apart without someone seeing him.

he always feared the day italy finds out that he suffered from depression...
he couldnt bear to see Italy's face when he finds him so broken and fallen apart, he wonders if he could even live knowing that Italy saw that side of him.

he doesnt want italy to see him broken

in truth, he just wants to keep italy happy, the day he sees italy truly cry because of him would be his total breaking point

It wasnt that he didnt trust Italy, its just that he didnt wanna hurt him

he also felt it wasnt necessary because he was independent, strong, and very capable despite suffering from depression.

he's had it for years, and was used to it randomly hitting him out of nowhere, or making him feel like crap because he snapped at italy for being a moron.

as of lately its been the worst its been in many years
with his friend Japan gone, his heart hurt so much, because Japan was that one friend who listened quietly, and cared silently, japan was his friend.. he just wanted to know why.. He didnt care what it was, Japan was always the country who listened to what he had to say... why couldnt he do the same for japan?

but its too late to change his ways now

so instead...

He wanted to know why Japan did it

He wanted to know why he did it, the idea constantly repeated itself in germany's mind

it repeated itself until he fell asleep from exhaustion

So after germany woke up later that morning, feeling better than yesterday, he decided he was going to find out why Japan did what he did, so he can try to fix it.

but his mind drifted over to Italy subcontiously, as if he knew Italy would be here soon, or Italy was up to something of some kind.

over the years, him and italy have always sensed eachother despite being miles apart.