Secret Book of Fanfiction One Shots

[Saiki K] Kusuo x depressed! male! reader

a/n: a friend wanted this one but asked to remain anonymous— enjoy
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You were Y/N, the super quiet guy who never smiled. Thats what everyone had known about you. Everyone knew about your emotionless self well, and often they looked at you wondering why you never showed any emotion other than a neutral frown.

Some assumed you didn't have any feelings or emotions at all, and some believed that you just never wanted to show them.

Everyone's curiosity always grew and it eventually led to you being bullied and being repeatedly told that you dont matter, and as many times as you attempt to contradict those thoughts, you always end up believing them anyway.

Your heart felt sore all the time and your throat felt sore too. You always feel like crying but always somehow kept it all together despite feeling like you're crumbling inside.

Kusuo, your childhood friend never really knew about the bullying, but he was aware that you indeed have emotions. His presence soothed you. You could be at the lowest point in your life and his very presence would make you feel like life could go on just a little bit more.

You loved him, you really did. You felt safe and secure around him, and he always made sure to show that he feels the same too.

He cannot read your thoughts but can somehow still talk in the mind to you by touching your hands or shoulder.

He always made sure to make an attempt to hug you everyday, and even though it wasnt his sort of thing, he's secretly grown to enjoy the embrace as you do too.

He was an essential lifeline for you, but the more you thought of him that way, the more you realize that you've grown so attached.

The past two years have been the worst. You've gotten new bullies, is ignored by other students, and is known as the quiet boy who never smiles.

Getting physically beaten didnt bother you much, not until the words began to hurt, and then over time everything began to hurt.

You kinda wished you would have one of Kusuo's hugs and maybe a coffee jelly, but then you thought about how awful to waste his time like that.

You quietly shook your head, dismissing the thought. You had walked alone today, again— how many days has it been?

who cares. im too tired to care

you thought to yourself bitterly as you stare at the flooring while you drag yourself to class.

You felt empty.

You felt sad.

You felt angry.

But most of all you felt lost.

Which emotions am I even feeling? Are they fused together? What do you call emotions that are stuck all together creating a seemingly endless pattern of chaos and suffering? How would you even come up with a name as horrid as so?

These thoughts have been running through your mind for years. But only now has it decided to manifest itself into something worse.

Today you had given up on living. When you got kicked in the ribs on the floor, everyone realized that the bullies have broken your mind.

you were exhausted, but you felt lost more. it sucks being lost and tired but thats how life works you thought long ago. you couldnt bring yourself to carry on anymore, you silently hope that Kusuo would forget that you exist because once he finds love with someone else your fate is sealed. you believed that everyone should be happy before you leave the cruel world.