Secret Book of Fanfiction One Shots

[Hetalia] England x Depressed! Reader - Lost

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED EASILY
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"arthur... can y-"

"love im sort of busy at the moment, im sorry ill call you later."

"oh... ok."

well so much for seeking comfort and love to cope
you thought bitterly.

no, why dont you just face the facts?! he just doesnt fucking love you, read between the lines stupid. its obvious he doesnt want to talk to you.
your thoughts always continue to poke at you.

they just dont know how to fucking stop do they?!

later that morning,
you got up from bed, and walked into the bathroom to clean yourself up for the day. you met your reflection's gaze—empty... lost gaze.

your eyes screamed lost in the unknown.

when you take off your clothes to get in the shower you force yourself not to vomit when you silently criticise yourself for having such and ugly body.

no wonder he doesnt love me.
you thought bitterly.

hip gaps how disgusting.

a light stomach, good god im fat.
you forced yourself not to throw up again when you looked at your face.

no wonder he doesnt love me...

you thought, as you held back the tears.

you tried so hard to not cry, but once you met the hot shower you had cried your eyes out silently, not wanting your lover to be bothered.

you felt alone, despite having a wonderful person like arthur in your life.

you wanted to tell him that you feel this way but was always dismissed of, always ignored.

it broke your heart even more when you hear sexual talk in his officer when his door was closed.

he was cheating on you.

that fact didnt sink in until he said he began to talk to this mysterious person on the phone more and more, he spoke in the same loving manner as he once did for you.

it suddenly hit you, he's in love with someone else.

it showed even more when his voice towards you became nonchalant and emotionless.

it showed even more when you and him went to bed together, he no longer hugged you while you slept, or held you close in his arms.

it broke you. so fucking much.

they say true love is about letting go, but that idea broke your heart more than anything, you hated love and the word itself. letting someone go isnt true love, its a tutorial on how to be physically and emotionally abandoned.

thats how you saw it.

you grew bitter and resentful, but its to hide the fact you were sad throughout the past few years.

you always wanted to tell arthur how you've been feeling sad all the time- yet seeing him with another woman just shows that its simply a waste of time—

so you stopped speaking, because at this point, he never utters a word to you, its always, "im working in my office now."

no "i love you"