Secret Book of Fanfiction One Shots

[DBH] Markus x Depressed! Reader - Thing Called Love

A/N: I know I promised lots of parts soon, and believe me I try my best. But keep in mind I tend to put a lot of my feelings in my oneshots as a way to relieve stress and the sadness from my chest. I know y'all are probably tired of my excuses for why I'm not posting anything quick. And I don't think I can really explain why I haven't been posting. Maybe when I'm in a better time I'll explain why. Yes I'm constantly writing but little bits and pieces a a time. This has been my only therapy for me mainly because professional help doesn't seem to do a whole lot and I haven't been getting better. I hope you guys understand that. And I'm always unmotivated, so please know that I'm working a little bit on each part at a time but not finishing as quickly as y'all would probably want me to. I did manage to finish a song shot so I hope this counts for now.
And hopefully I can finish the rest when I can <3

Enjoy

TRIGGER WARNING
CUTTING AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.....

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Song: NF - Thing Called Love
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This thing called love
can be so cold

You ask yourself, why am I even here? They said you have a reason to live but you had never looked for a reason to begin with.
You felt no empathy for the world and your mind was frozen like your heart. To be honest you never seemed to have mind the cold, but this was just eating you alive.

It can be miserable,
or it can be beautiful

You supported the androids and you had known the leader for quite some time. About a few years? Or are you over exaggerating?

You hated the fact you loved him and the fact that he isn't human breaks you. You don't even know if he even feels love despite the fact he's a deviant who can feel.

That moment when she kissed him you had known that your time was over. And honestly you seemed quite done with yourself way before that, so it wasn't really much of pain.

This thing called love
can be so cold
Sometimes it's amazing, sometimes it's crazy
This thing called love

But... deep inside, it did hurt you. And it hurt beyond your ability to withstand without a tear. So as the tears fall down your cheeks, you were grateful for wearing transitional glasses. No one sees your eyes in the bright sun. So you can cry silently with a straight face as your throat swells up and your chest feels heavy with pain. You hold it in. Yet all at the same time, you feel numb to the touch.

You actually thought that Markus would love you. YOU of all people let your feelings get to you, after pulling yourself out of a hellhole. Now you feel like once again, that you will never last. Love is just the worst thing. You hate it, you do. And you do. It's sad to say at least.

Check, check, eh
Listen, your love is like a drug that everybody uses
You wanna know the outcome
Depends on how you use it

You hated love. You hated many things- one of them was emotions. Markus, had once shown you the beauty of them and, in the past you had felt nothing because of your childhood. You had no empathy because you hated your emotions. Markus had taught you to be happy, to be sad, to be light, to be dark, to be angry, and to love. He taught you to embrace your emotions that you had deep within you for so long. And you fell in love with him.