Secret Book of Fanfiction One Shots

[DBH] Connor x Reader - Heartbreak

A/N This was something I was working on from the very beginning I as created this book. Sorry. I will finish my other ones just let me finish this one first. :3

This is angst, therefore no happy ending. I will happily make an alternate ending for you guys if the majority of the readers want it. This contains suicide in this, so please if this stuff triggers you don't read :) you are loved and people like you don't deserve to be forgotten. <3
———

For those going through a heartbreak know that you can fall into depression and possible suicide within 24 hours.

To this day do you honestly think you can live without the only person who made you happy?
—

Your POV

Everyone treated you like shit and they expect you to even feel at the end? It's pathetic.

Not only did this anger you, it hurt you more than anything. Your heart being broken into two, as your walls crumble into millions of pieces. Connor kisses your best friend. You were supposed to be happy for them but how can this be for someone who loved him too?

How can you just sit and watch your best friend kiss someone you loved for so long? How?

These were things you never understood and now here you were, forcing away the tears that threatened to spill at the little thread. All you could do was swallow that painful knot in your throat and fight the heavy weight on your cheeks. It felt so heavy. So heavy that it hurt. But all you did, was that despite the pain. Forcing your selfish desires deep within yourself, here you were home and building up those long foreign walls to block everyone out to keep people out from getting inside.

You loved Connor too much. But that's love for you. One second it's your hero, the next it's a villain.

Oh how much it hurts.

Does he not know what it is to hurt?

Oh so much you knew that Connor does not- yet you still felt pathetic and stupid.

You suppress the thoughts until you can't ignore it no more and by then you're here with a glock in your hand but can't point it to your face.

All you could do was sit there and stare at it, you reloaded it, you cleaned it, slowly.

You've been gone for too long, too long to even be considered an employed being. You haven't felt this miserable in a long time. But isn't this called love?

You'd loved a machine and your friend seemed to have too, but had taken him anyway. You don't consider it selfish, but deep inside you do.
You wouldn't blame here though, they looked perfect together, both beautiful people. All you've felt your entire life was this heavy cloud in your chest and above your head. You felt ugly, for which is why you understood why Connor could never love you, although deep inside you wished that you were in his arms and not your best friend.

You wanted to show Connor a part of the world that no one sees besides you, you wished you had given him the world in hopes of maybe he'll love you. But to be honest all you have is yourself, and you're just a tiny dim star in a galaxy of the unknown.

"Only for you."

You didn't cry, you had no reason to. But you felt empty, sad, and lost within the pits and darkness of yourself. Yes it is a dark place but at least the doors are shut and you're locked up inside.

You didn't want to come out of your shell. You've given up on love, living, and your reason to live.

Here you are,
it's been 5 days, you're in your room not recalling what day it is or if you're even alive.
You didn't feel.
You were numb.
Both to the skin,
And to the heart.

And with a bit of trying to feel the numbness in your heart hurts, it almost feels like you're about to explode. You're hurting inside but you're skin is so numb and so tightly packed that none of the pain goes away.

You didn't scream, but you wish you could've but something inside silenced you and you didn't know what it was. So you took the stone cold Glock to your temple and fired. But for that, you missed.

You haven't realized how depressed you were and now here you are, about to kill yourself. And to some cases you wish you didn't try but at the same time you couldn't think of a reason not to do it. So you reloaded it and put it back to your temple. You shot again, and again- miss, miss.

You keep missing and for some reason you couldn't do it. But you wanted this. Connor is happy now. So will you be, soon. You took it and put it back to your temple, but soon I hear a knock on the door and it was Connor but to you- you didn't answer because it's just a waste of time you tried to shoot your self again and now you're taking that last bullet and going to not miss and you'll be dead for good.

You let your finger squeeze the trigger and everything you've lived up to fades from your eyes.

A/n: alternate ending? Or no?$