Secret Book of Fanfiction One Shots

[DBH] human! Connor x Male! Depressed! Drug-Addict! Reader

Connor is ooc in this but idk
Trigger warning suicide and drug abuse
-
Life felt as if it were falling apart.
Your heart feels like it's been carved into nothing but a dark hole, but in reality it had been ripped.
Everything you've stood for, wanted, got, looked for, is nothing. You felt nothing.
A mixture of emotions ranging from anger, sadness, and guilt. Making the depression mixture.
Cliche, yes. But you knew it was true. It seemed as if everything around you was grey, and then whenever you come to work to see Connor, all of the saturation comes back into your dark and cold world.

You then begin to crave that fix again. That need, to feel.

Everything inside you, craves the feeling of happiness.

That feeling so rare, almost like finding a certain star in a galaxy.

You sigh, removing your glasses, and begun to rub your face with your hands, gently massaging your eyes from how much pain you're in.

You worked during the night.

Your face was warm to the touch.
And your hands felt warm too.

Inside your heart, and your throat was a craving for that fix again.

And again, it continued to nag until you just got up and left.

You walked outside, inhaling the chilly air, white puffs of smoke escape your lips. The small crunching of the snow was all you heard as you walked.
The cold seemed like it was nothing. A small breeze went by, and you felt the cold but didn't shiver.

You felt it but at the same time you continued to feel that everlasting nothingness.

It fucking sucked, and all you wanted was to feel.

So you took the corner, and went inside the dark alley. The guy you were looking for stood before you. You grabbed your wallet and gave him the cash, then he gave you what you wanted.
He smiles, before going back to smoke against the wall.
"Here again brother?"
The man asks calmly before taking the needle to his wrist.
"Aye. Bad days it seems."
You reply, letting the smoke burn your lungs to crisp.
"Life gets better when we come here."
He mumbles before letting a relaxed sigh, for which you assume the drugs kicked in.

The weed you smoked made your heart numb.
Your throat numb.
And when you begin to breathe, you finally start to feel something.
The lungs burned, and it was comforting.

You thought to yourself as you continued to smoke.

Not just about your own life, but what will happen when the weed and Zanax isn't enough for you to cope with life. You sit down in the snow, continuing on with smoking until the man, had given him a clean syringe.

"You want some buddy..?"
He mumbles, clearly high and relaxed.

You chuckle softly, "sure, thanks man."
When you put it in, and pushed slowly, you felt relief. It was a sensational feeling. It was calm, and relaxing. You groaned in pleasure, this was so relaxing.

Your world began to slow down, and your heart rate begun to slow.

"Y/n, do you think life gets better?" He asks before taking in some more weed.

"I don't know... I don't know." you breathe letting the smoke escape your cold chapped lips.

He muffled out a sob, of agony.
"This world, so grey. I'm so tired of living (Y/n)... I'm so tired."
You turn to see him taking Molly, and you then cry too.
"Me too, I don't know if life gets any better.. I just don't know.. but I'm tired of wondering." You mutter letting the tears fall down your face.

Him and you did not feel anything. But the feeling is still there somehow. And you both were high to forget, you were both high to quit feeling, and to let your worlds slow down so yall can breathe.

"I'll be gone soon, y/n.. I've done too much."
He mumbles tiredly.

"It's okay, I'll join you soon."

With that, he relaxes even more until his chest quit gently heaving. He was gone.

You cried, softly before grabbing your last fix that he had for you, and went home and prepared your own death.

You lost a good friend today.
Life was hard
And it feels like you lost everything.

You groan before coming home and sitting on the couch. You inject heroin, letting it consume you slowly. You then see your antidepressants and sleeping pills.
You swallow them all. And soon everything began to blur and roll around. Colors grew into sound, and everything was drowning away from your dark world.
But through the silence you heard a muffled yell that was barely enough to be heard.

You seen a blurry light as it began to fade from your eyes.
-
"Hey buddy."
Your eyes open, and everything was bright.
"Hey.." I smile.
"You know, I can get used to a place like this, it's so peaceful." He comments before closing his eyes to smile.
"Is this where we go when we die?" You ask quietly.
"For me, yes. For you, no." He spoke calmly.
"What happens to me?" You ask, scared of the truth.
"You live, because someone in your life cares about you. And they're trying to wake you up right now. I wanted you to come and feel this, and tell you to live your life. I've learned after I died that life actually does get better. It only takes time. Live your life, (y/n). Connor will be there for you. Goodbye buddy."

Your heart breaks seeing him fade away from your eyes. You begin to cry alone in the dark.

-
You woke to beeping sounds, a heart monitor? Or so you thought.

You felt warmth around your hands, and liquid dripping from them.

Your eyes slowly open, to see a Connor, with a hand on his face wiping away his own tears.

Your heart fluttered, and then it sank. You couldn't remember what had happened.

You tried to speak, "C-Conner?"
It came out weak, and Connor's head comes up and his chocolate brown eyes met yours.

You summoned enough strength to pull yourself up but Connor stopped you. "Don't overwork yourself. You havent used your body in a long time. (Y/n).." your eyes widen, realizing what had happened. The drugs, your friend, and then after... all of it came crashing down. And your tears began to fall. Connor's warm hands left yours and he put his arms around your shivering body. He hushed you down, and whispered it's okay.
He wiped his tears and held your small frame in his warm embrace. You begun to feel safe, and the way he held you made you blush.

"Connor... I'm sorry."
You sniffle before wiping the rest of your tears away.

"I'm okay."
I force a smile again, letting the sadness come in again.

But Connor knew, you overdosed.
"You aren't okay. But I'll help you get there.."

Connor then blushed for a moment before adding,
"I l-love you."

You grab him and pull him into a kiss. "I love you too"