[Hetalia] Depressed! England - I Miss the Days.

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i love most ships in hetalia, and im pretty open minded about them, so if you are a usuk supporter, dont worry i like those too. i like both ships because they both have different styles of writing, so pls dont hate me :( and also, there will be no confirmed ships in the story, however there will be mentions of both usuk and fruk

also, there is no happy ending.
100% angsty england
trigger warning too
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Today... it is July 4th, Arthur, the personification of England, struggled most on this day. Today is a day everyone celebrates while he tries to drink away the pain and sadness he endures every single damn day. This day is like everyday, but far more cruel because his mind jabs at him, making sure he feels worthless as he already is.

Arthur was a very intellectual man, who often read books to distract himself from feeling sad and alone.

Many often portray Arthur as a grumpy old man who hates anything and everything. But in truth, Arthur always hides his true feelings, always fearing that revealing his true feelings could get him hurt again.

Francis bullying him as kids, to Alfred who both are now running their own lives ignoring Arthur.

Back then, despite their differences, Arthur and Francis were good friends, however, so much hurt and betrayal came after that, and it had broke a piece of Arthur's heart because as much as he failes to admit, he really loved Francis. Then there's Alfred.

Back then, Arthur protected Alfred from Francis and everyone. Alfred, or America, changed Arthur, he somehow managed to melt his so very cold heart.

Alfred managed to warm that heart back up again, it made Arthur happy again, unafraid to show a smile, unafraid to be himself because he knew that Alfred actually cared then.

After that, it all changed, it was time to let Alfred go, but he didnt want him to leave, their relationship had faltered, he wanted to keep him in his heart even when Alfred wants to leave, and it hurt.

Arthur wanted to fight to keep what is closest to him safe and sound. He didnt want Alfred to get hurt nor did he want him to endure any pain.

Arthur wanted to keep Alfred safe and yet Alfred rebelled against it, saying that he felt unsafe and imprisoned in Arthur's clutches, and that too broke his heart, but he kept fighting anyway, hoping that maybe Alfred would understand he was doing this to keep him safe, to protect those that he loved most.

after all of the fighting, in the end it was arthur who stood on his knees in the dreary rain, he watched Alfred walk away in victory for beating him in a battle that Arthur thought never wouldve happened.

It hurt to see him leave, but it hurt even more when thinking of all the good times they had, all are now memories that Arthur wishes he could burn.

Those memories are simply painful reminders that all of the good ol' days are gone, and will never come back because Alfred is now a country, free from England, 'free' as if England were a bad person, a villian even, nonetheless, Alfred was free from him. Arthur no longer mattered to him, and once again he got his heart stomped on, crushed into tiny little pieces, and is continually disintegrating into more of that horrid nothingness.

good fucking god Arthur was tired of continuing this miserable excuse of a country.

he waa tired of being used for everyone's gain and then be dumped away as if he was an object. even if he was an asshole, he has feelings too! why cant anybody see that?

They never seem to open their eyes, instead all they see is a grumpy old man. In reality, the man is bitter, cold hearted, only so cold so he is assured to he safe from hurt, because two people that broke his heart is enough for him to take. Why can't they realize that they hurt Arthur? He's tried telling them once before but was dismissed of the subject as if he didnt even matter one bit. Back then, he would've taken a pathetic sorry and welcomed them back into his heart, however, Arthur knew there was no longer any point in being desperate. He knew they used him for their own benefit, but he thought maybe one day they would've learned from it. they never did. It hurt him so badly, that he couldn't leave his room for weeks.

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